Guria - The Misfit Girl™
-
-

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Top Posts & Pages
What I Write About
55-fiction Abstract BAT Bloggers Calcutta and Bengali Catharsis Causes Chapters Contests Creations Darkness Friends Guest Post Happy Heart India Indiblogger Laughs Life Loss Love Man and Woman Me Nature Non-Fiction Novelette Observer Passions People and Relationships Philosophy Photography Random Reviews Sarcasm Series Sketches Society Soliloquy Tags The Other Side of the River Travel Uncategorized Verses YouTags
- Awards
- bengali
- bengali poetry
- birthday
- bittersweet
- Blogger
- Blogging awards
- Catharsis
- celebrations
- contest
- creative writing
- darkness
- death
- Durga Puja
- essay
- fall
- family
- festival
- fiction
- food
- freedom
- friends
- funny
- ghosts
- grief
- happiness
- happy
- heart
- home
- hope
- humor
- india
- Indiblogger
- innate immunity
- joy
- life
- Loss
- love
- love letters
- me
- moods
- nature
- neha
- novella
- people
- philosophy
- poetry
- politics
- quotes
- rain
- relationships
- religion
- research
- sad
- science
- seasons
- short story
- social media
- Society
- soliloquy
- technology
- usa
- winter
- woman
Recent Comments
Eva L on I am totally new at this,… Mara Hurst on Shadow dancing Guria on the things that we rememb… Papeya on the things that we rememb… Guria on Draupadi: The Blame Archives
Blog Stats
- 21,833 hits
-
Meta
Catharsis Part-X: Inwards
I haven’t written a story, haven’t really rhymed.
All I have done is feel, sometimes be happy, and sometimes blind.
There’s a world that is an illusion of people being yours without really being so. There’s a world where you think you belong but you’ll never do so. Amidst happiness, friends and love, the ingredients to a wonderful life, I feel lost and scared like a little kid. I love my life who’s a friend only if you are one.
Compared to the shadowed yesterday, there’s a brighter tomorrow. Literally, as I see. I stand in between and look at the two and realize there’s something in you, and something out there, whatever happens needs to. Being God’s favorite child, no harm can ever befall you. It is a bliss to be wrapped in this illusion, especially knowing that it is one.
And the strangest discovery, in this whole farce that we live through, the most truest thing is the biggest illusion of all. Love. How it stays on, no matter whether you do or not. Yes, it is a wonderful, illusive life.
Posted in Catharsis
5 Comments
The Masterstroke
He was writing when Clayton stormed into the room. “Explain what’s going on.”
He looked up, mildly irritated at being interrupted in his flow. Words, so frivolously used by the ordinary, were diamonds when the soot was brushed off and cut to gleaming perfection. It was what made the people stop in their tracks filled with awe. But the making wasn’t something that people understood, for it was not bestowed, it was cultivated. But it was what the ultimate creation was. He looked at the crude, young man in front of him from the top of his glasses. Crudeness could be removed with a minor flourish of his genius, but the good looks and the blatant arrogance beneath his right-now scruffy bearing was what he needed. Yes, his ten years younger brother fitted the bill perfectly.
“I asked you something, Ray. Don’t make me repeat myself.” Impatience and anger, just flitting at the brim, controlled with a tight rein. Admirable. Ray smiled inwardly. He was rarely wrong.
“What’s going on?” Politely puzzled, Ray stretched back into his armchair.
This time Clay kicked aside the leather backed chair, leaned forward and violently thrust his face within an inch of his brother’s.
“I am not marrying Claire.”
Ray surveyed him calmly and said, “Yes, you are if you still want to live in this house.”
“You can’t make me.” Clay spat out.
“I won’t have to. You will.” Ray looked around the papers scattered on his desk and said softly and pointedly, “As you see I’m working… Now if you are finished with your little tantrum, can I get back to my writing?”
“You fu….”
“I know you have quite the colorful vocabulary. But I don’t really need a lesson right now.”
Clay stood there seething, a closed expression descended on his face, his eyes shuttered. But Ray who was already poring down on his papers didn’t see. Clay walked out in a slow gait to the giant oak doors, turned and said softly, “She was your wife, Ray.”
“Close the doors after you, Clay.” he said without looking up.
Clay stared back at his brother for a few unfathomable moments before closing the doors behind him.
At the desk, Ray chuckled lightly. The story was coming along fine indeed.
***
It was her wedding night. Which meant she was down in the kitchens in the dead of the night, making her way in the dark, looking for some food. She was hungry not having had a proper dinner and she had to wait till all the guests had left and the servants had retired for the night. It had been a magnificent feast and she had not partaken a single morsel of it. Clay had left several hours earlier. The guests not being an hindrance to him, as he had climbed out the window of his bedroom as only Clay could. Their bedroom. Claire almost choked on the thought.
It was a cool and balmy night. But the shivers were nothing to do with that. She was trying hard not to think about the turns her life had taken but she could little think of anything else. She went to the fridge and started rummaging through.
“Hello, love.”
Claire jumped and whirled around to see Ray sitting at the kitchen table, eerily illuminated by the dim light of the refrigerator.
“I thought Clay was as randy as a young stallion, and you, my darling….” he laughed softly. “How come he let you out of his bed so soon?”
He stood up and walked around the table to her as Claire stood immobile, transfixed.
“Or are you still pining for me, love?” He reached a hand, smiled as Claire flinched, and closed the door of the fridge suddenly turning off the icy blast of cool air and sheathing them in darkness.
In the lightened darkness of the room, bathed only with faint moonlight filtering through the curtains, his eyes dropped suggestively and roved over her body, lingering at her heaving chest and the night clothes molding to it. He put a hand lightly on her breast and intoned softly, “Are you missing my touch, Claire?” As he lifted a thumb to brush, not so lightly across her puckered nipple, she jerked to life, and with a heave pushed his arms away as she ran up the stairs, with unknown tears streaking her cheeks.
Ray looked at her receding back, inwardly appreciating her tight little ass, as he braced himself. It was just getting better.
“What do you think you were doing Ray?”, came his brother’s voice, soft and dangerous, from the kitchen doors.
Ray turned slowly as if surprised to find him there.
Clay approached him menacingly and put choke-hold to his throat and said, “If you ever touch my wife again, I’ll feed you bits by bits to the dogs. Do you understand?” Ray nodded, with what he hoped the right amount of fear and anger in his eyes.
“Claire is my wife now. You didn’t want her. You set her aside. Now she is mine. And you better stay away from her.”
Ray rubbed his throat, gasping for breath as Clay stomped away from him. The ball was set rolling. Finally.
***
It was slow but it was coming along. Perfectly.
The Perfect Woman
The manor house. Serene, sturdy and timeless. Witness to the passage of generations, of centuries of tribulations, of gains and losses, of treasures and misfortunes. And it would also withstand the storm raging inside now. But it would be the only one to.
The lady of the manor, a lady of impeccable upbringing and enviable lineage but was endowed with all the failings that made every woman weak. Like the child she cradled in her bosom, loving it with every breath she took even while it was sucking at her teats, sucking out her life. It could only be a woman who could love a child that her husband hadn’t given her. It could only be a woman, too weak to drown a spawn, who could nurse the thing that had sprouted out of the impassioned, tempestuous longing of the great owner of the manor, forcibly sated.
But she was as timeless, as predictable like every other of her race. Their bodies were the fertile ground, if not cultured, it would sprout weeds. It begged for watering, begged for seeds to be sowed. It begged and pleaded, thirsty and wanting.
A chivalrous, virile husband was nothing if it could not quench the thirsty, the parched, the wanton that a woman was when deprived. Handsome, youthful and strength, all counted for nothing when the wife, the lady, the hussy was lusting after the silent, refined owner of the lands and the lord of the mansion.
But the barges couldn’t hold anymore. The waters filled and overflowed. A flood ensued. It was inevitable, as the water would come and cleanse off the scum, the rotting, and only the true would survive…
His pen poised on the last parchment, Ray tilted his head as he contemplated. One of them had to die. Which one, he mused.
***
The red of the sherry glinted brightly against the crystal of the decanter. A little known poison and the red of the sherry. Bloodless yet red. But she needed to be beautiful, more than she’d ever been in this last act. In this perfect story.
“Ah, Claire, my darling, there you are!”, Ray greeted her, as she entered the library and stood waiting at the doors, her hands clutched tightly at her voluminous white skirts.
“Come in, darling, take a seat.” Ray called out, as he poured the sherry carefully and appreciatively nodded to himself at her white gown. He couldn’t have asked for a perfect setting. Claire walked in to the summons she couldn’t ignore, her eyes pausing lightly at the crystal goblets in his hands.
“Where’s Clayton?” she asked.
“Oh, he will be here in a bit, I expect. He must be tending to his beloved horses, I think” Ray said as he handed over her glass, “And we’ll all celebrate together… Won’t you ask what we are celebrating, darling?”
Without waiting for an answer that wasn’t coming, Ray went back to his chair and said, “We are celebrating our union and our love.”
This time Claire looked up puzzled, “Our love?”
“Of course, love, you know it was wrong of me to marry you when I knew I never wanted to be a husband. But I know how much you love me. Have always loved me. I set it right, didn’t I? I got you a husband and yet didn’t set you away from me. Wasn’t it a brilliant plan? All for our love.”
Claire stared at him incredulously, “This was your brilliant plan?” She laughed mirthlessly. “Our love, Raymond? You rape me, your brother’s wife and call that love.”
Ray smiled condescendingly, “Rape, my love? My touch, my love were all you ever wanted, wasn’t it? Me? And the child you hold so lovingly to your lush breasts, you wouldn’t have found so much love for that if it was rape, would you? You love it, because it is mine.
“But we are digressing. Drink up my love, I wanted to tell you about a story, my masterpiece, that I am finishing… A story like no other… we just have to wait for Clay.”
Clay spoke from the doorway, “I am here. What did you want with us?”
“Oh, Clay! You are here already.” Ray clapped his hands like a little kid.
“Now I can begin my story.”
As Claire and Clay sat opposite him, Ray got up and started talking. “So, I wrote a novel, a masterpiece, a story so real, so deep that it will echo in the minds of those who will read it forever…
“And it is a story about a woman not unlike you, Claire.” he said.
Claire and Clay waited, their faces inscrutable.
Ray continued, “Now I have almost reached the end of the novel, but one of the characters has to die. The lord of the manor, the husband or the woman whose story it is. That will be the masterstroke.”
Turning around to face the others, Ray said, “And you have to help me… It is going to be simple and painless like poisoned sherry…”
Clay jumped up and knocked the crystal out of Claire’s hands and it spilled with a thud on to the carpeted floor whilst a fine red seeped up the skirt of her gown. Claire sat wide-eyed and shocked.
“You are mad! Claire, you were right! He’s mad! You think we are puppets in your hands, writing a book, a goddamned book, with your family cast as characters of a cheap thriller! You bastard!” Clay shouted as he lunged towards Ray. But Ray anticipating it, was ready and moved with the agility of a deer and held a small, silver Colt against the temple of Claire.
“Don’t bother, Clay. It is not how I want the character to die. Please don’t ruin my story. And it is going to be perfect.”
Clay stared scared, looking at the barrel of the firearm and the calm, mad eyes of his brother. The bastard actually meant it, he thought, all of us are just characters, when suddenly the tensed silence broke with the sound of a tinkling laughter.
“Your story? Your story, Ray?” Claire was laughing.
“You think we didn’t know what you were up to?”
She turned around easily and swatted away Ray’s hand as he looked on bewildered.
“You thought you had us cornered. Forcing my father to marry me off to Clay after you had spurned me, knowing Clay’s righteousness that he will never touch me as a husband. But you miscalculated Ray, you made a huge error in judgement.
“You raped me not two days after my wedding to your own brother, ignoring my tears, my pleading, my hurt, my blood and justifying it all by calling it love… Thinking that our marriage was the sham you wanted it to be, you manipulated us, twining us all around your little finger. But you were wrong. The child is not yours. We did have a real marriage and we found love. Your hatred, your manipulation brought us together. And it showed us what I knew all along. That you are a mad man.”
And before Ray’s widening eyes, Claire moved forward and pressed her lips to his, “And you are right Ray, one of us has to die.” She lifted her hand from the volumes of her skirts. The afternoon sun streaming through the high-walled windows gleamed briefly on the silver blade as she plunged it deep into the belly of the monster who had been her first husband, who had brought limitless pain to her and her own. And she could find nothing but a vindictive satisfaction as she plunged the knife again and again as the voices in her head screamed her name.
Clay wrenched the knife away from her hand, dragged her away and silently held her. “It had to be done Clay… Some one had to do it. And it had to be me. No one but me.” Claire breathed heavily and looked around. “Do you think we didn’t know about your story Ray? We knew it from the day Clay had leaned across this very desk and told you that he wouldn’t marry your wife.”
Ray looked up from the floor, the Colt still clutched in his hands, choking on his own blood and gurgled, “Cl…”, and couldn’t speak any more.
Claire looked at his lifeless body with disdain, and said, “Burn his novel, will you Clayton.” and walked out leaving Clay staring down at his dead, demented brother with undisguised loathing.
***
The fire in the grate ate away at the manuscript, the flames slowly licking over the words that shined brightly moments before being devoured…
He had sinned and she would extract the penance. She was a woman, like every other one of her race, with a strength that surpassed man, and could rise from the ashes like an inferno and engulf all existence for all that she loved. And she could burn all that stood in her way. She could create and she would destroy like only a woman could.
Woman as she was. She was creation. And she alone, destruction. The perfect woman.
She was the last vision that he beheld, her perfect face, her flowing tresses, her beautiful, dark eyes lit with fire as she thrust her knife again and again into him. And in his death, death by her hands, it would be he who would be immortal again.
The empty Colt on the carpet remained the only witness to the masterpiece.
Posted in Creations, Darkness, Novelette, People and Relationships
Tagged creative writing, fiction, people, short story
7 Comments
Our National Anthem
There is a thing about that melody, the words, those uplifting notes that flow with your blood, seep into your bones and sinew and carry you with it that never fails to run a shiver done my torso… And the pride, the love, the sense of belonging, of being that I experience every time that I listen or take part in the wonder of our national anthem.
It made sense to me to stand up in my bedroom, or in front my desk at my workplace when I played the anthem. It felt that at those small moments in my own humble way I do tell that country of my birth, the country I love, the country I cherish more now as I am away.. I tell my country “thank you” for teaching me what no other place in the world could. I feel that in those small stolen moments I pay her the due respects. She has given us, and the world, so much… And me a home, a destiny, the roots and traditions to be proud of and at the same time taught me, never to be spiteful or boastful and never to stop learning.
It was always wonderful to listen to the tune play at home. Whether it was at the beginning of a movie, or impromptu, unaware in the screenplay of one, or whether it was at the flag-hoisting ceremony or at the end of a programme in school, it always created a deep-seated, wondrous sensation in the pit of my stomach that spread all over… something that the anthem could do every time without failing.
In this cold country, it was a warmth, besides the wonder that seeped through reached my numbed fingers and toes and comforted the chilling bones. As much as it made me yearn for my homeland, for my people, it made me stronger.
It strengthened my will to achieve, not as my parents’ daughter, not as my family’s pride, not as a Bengali but as a Indian to how the world that We Can. Amongst all the diversity that I’m learning of, all the different traditions, cultures, religions and languages, we stand with same set of principles, morals and pride of belonging.
As I wait to be, for all of us away from home, to Be… as we yearn for the home, the land like no other, like the irreplaceable mother… We strive to succeed, to achieve, to accomplish… As the Children of My Land. For all that we have been given that we forgot to be grateful for, we hope that one day we can make up for it and give something back to that country that is our real identity.
Being away taught us what we couldn’t learn the easy way. Being away showed us what India really is. Being away taught us that we are Indians.
Like the national anthem that plays its silent melody in our hearts, it is the country that has made the words, the music, the feel timeless and far-reaching and that speaks to you always… only if you listen closely enough.
Posted in India, Passions, The Other Side of the River
5 Comments
Signs that Your Friend is in Love
It is an adventure when you fall in love but it is an undefined excitement when your independent, self-sufficient, level-headed, practical, sought-after, single-for-too-long best friend falls headlong. Here are some pointers, my experience, that are sure-shot signs of love in the bloom.
>>> She is awake and energized even though there is no exam and it is 0400 hours with her work beckoning at 0900 hours. Even after the phone call is done with, she lays awake looking at the ceiling with stars in her eyes and replays the conversation another thousand times in her head. And she won’t be really tired as she goes into work all bright-eyed and excited.
>>> She smiles too much and too often. There just can’t be anything that wipes that smile off her face or her singing insides. She doesn’t know or care how sappy the smile is. There rarely is anything or anyone that can put her off. She is in the clouds. The sparkle in those deep eyes, they become brighter than ever.
>>> She can’t wait to tell you all that’s going on. She can’t go through it fast enough, even while the blush creeps in, and that thousands-watt smile glows. And she can’t hold in her happiness any longer. And while you struggle with the mundane trying to make time, she wonders for a moment about misplaced priorities, love should always be first on that list (as she’ll waste a single sentence telling you that), before going back to dreaming and smiling through the day.
>>> Oblivious to her surroundings, you have to repeat yourself at least three times while talking to her to make sure she has heard everything. If, of course, you weren’t inadvertently talking about him.
>>> If you do start talking about him, well, you won’t be able to talk about anything else for quite some time. And if you were not talking about him, but something that on the off-chance reminded her of him, well, you are stuck. If she politely (long odds of it) doesn’t veer off the conversation towards him, you can be assured in her head she indeed has veered off, that repeating three time will also not be enough.
>>> Social networking isn’t the thing it used to be. Oh, others will not know but you know she is not there the way she used to be. Appearances are just maintained but she’s elsewhere altogether. Everything she loves has taken a temporary backseat, or a hurried look-over only, in light of the new overwhelming sensations coursing through.
>>> She has stopped hounding you as frequently as she used to. The calls, the pokes, the catch-ups, the numbers dwindle and you wonder. She hasn’t forgotten you, obviously, but she is enthralled by all that that’s happening to her. And there’s only that much time, even without getting any sleep!
And you know You are her best friend, when you know the love for you is shared between you and the someone new, but is not split into two, never diminished. And you know, you love her to bits, as a smile breaks through when you think about her being finally happy! As happy as she deserves to be, and more.
And even as you think about how lucky the guy is, you swear to yourself that you’ll break his teeth, all the 206 bones, and put him in a wheelchair if he ever dares to mess with her heart.
P.S. This post says to my best friend, I love you too and I’m happy too, but of course in my own maverick way. Love, G.
Posted in Friends, Love, People and Relationships
8 Comments
To the Musician of My Life
You never thought about Greatness
It never mattered…
You only ever thought about the Music
That was the only thing real, the only thing that was.
And that’s when I discovered the Greatness. In you.
Nothing needs to change…
Let your love for and the faith in Music play on
And let my conviction in your Greatness achieve its heights…
You don’t have to listen to me,
Pretend that you didn’t hear me,
Laugh in your silent, adoring way
The way you do every time
When I talk about Greatness and You.
You don’t have to believe in what I say
I believe what I saw in You…
What I still see in You every day…
It is enough for the Music, the Music you will make to be Great
I believe in what I saw in You when I fell in Love…
I know nothing about Music,
But I know You.
Love, Guria
P.S. Guria is the name by which he calls me. And no else did before. I write here for me but because of him, and that’s why Guria writes this blog.
Posted in Love, You
5 Comments
Catharsis Part IX: New Beginnings
Even as I typed the title of the post, I was marveling how deep and true the words I was writing were.
A new year. A new blog. A new way of life. A new me.
Like clockwork, the way it is supposed to be, 365 days come to an end marking a new beginning, a new that is so predictable and yet isn’t. All alone, cooped up by choice I spend the day alone, with nothing but my laptop and a messy room. Wondering not what the new year will bring, but what I will make out of the new year. It is always ever in our hands.
A new blog address. Against much procrastination but the dormant lust for my own domain, I finally went ahead and got my own… www.themisfitgirl.com It seemed apt. I really think of myself as “the Misfit Girl”. I remembered Shruti of Hits and Misses who was the first ever to call me that.
And a new life. A few days of the recent past, I was alive. And to go back from that to the usual mechanical grind, it needs courage. Depression beckons me. And I fight harder. I’ll not let loneliness and melancholia take me over. I am not me for nothing!
But it is odd how time runs so fast when you want it to slow down and how time stretches when you really want it to zoom by. Or is it human fallacy again?
Work is the only solution. After all it was the primary reason. And I want no time to think, no time to let the clog in my throat or the burning in my eyes overwhelm me.
Another new year. Yet another new beginning. And another chance!
Let it be worthwhile. Let it be remembered for all the good nei great things in spite of all that I am without.
P.S. It is only here that I can cry and not be ashamed. For no one knows there are tears albeit dried ones.
Posted in Catharsis
14 Comments
Catharsis Part-VIII: From Across
I wish I could confess I was jealous. And tell you I am not in control of my sensibilities to be able to talk to you. As much as I wouldn’t want to hurt you, I would not want to make a fool out of me. Is it wrong of me to be scared… the stupid fear, the irrational thought that you will not care, that you will forget… That I am dispensable.
I don’t care that I am being foolish but my pride is all that is mine. So, I will not let you just leave me staring after you in the middle of the dusty, empty road, I will not let you walk away feeling sorry for me. I’ll never let you know that I care that you stay and would hurt when you don’t. So I will let you walk away and stare the other way as if I don’t know you are here. And that way you won’t see my tears.
But when does this end I don’t know… What if you never intend to go away… I don’t care, I am not brave enough to open up to you and us, I can’t make myself vulnerable, I can’t bare my heart…. All I keep thinking is “no one’s gonna’ think of you but you“, and never let her know she can hurt you, that you feel alone without, that you are scared to be seen through and discarded without a thought… I protect nothing but my heart… telling it lies, telling it, if it happens, it never mattered… only my heart’s smarter…
For the hurt that I wait for, what I think is inevitable… I can’t walk up to you today and say, I have been jealous, and a possessive freak, I have been a fool but you are all that ever mattered, and that’s all that matters.
But the pride interferes, the fear says no one can love you, so it says, I don’t need your love. Or you.
My pride like the little lost child, lies.
Posted in Catharsis
3 Comments
Living Together
It is not a practical solution in India where we rarely have to or need to or do move out of our parents’ home if living in the same city. And living together with your girlfriend/boyfriend is not exactly an option then. But of course, these constraints notwithstanding, living together in India is not quite the social norm. It is, has been and for still quite some time continue to be a recipient of raised eyebrows and reprimands, especially when the families become aware of it. The extended families are bound to try and stop “such an act” even if the immediate family may tentatively or wholeheartedly agree. And in a country such as India where families matter, their pressurizing and publicly-aired opinions matter also, sometimes. So, living together without being married is living in sin. Because this time everyone knows for sure, you are having sex! 😉
But when traveling out of the country, these restrictions fade away with every air mile you cover. It is not thought of as much in the Western countries. It is not something to be compared, and said that this is better and this is not, but is actually just a difference in lifestyle, cultures and society. Primarily as when you come of age, you are supposed to get your own place, people don’t stay with their parents etc, it allows them to choose if they want to stay with a partner or alone. And obviously because it is practical for them.
For the Indians, who travel abroad as unmarried couples, it is also practical. Financially and emotionally. And what happens in the West stays in the West. So there rarely is a chance of the previously “feared” extended family getting a wind of your living arrangements.
Strangely enough, having a physical relationship before marriage that is the primary concern of not allowing living together in India, reduces to be the least important aspect of living together when away from your country of birth, your family, and everything that you ever were familiar with.
The most amazing aspect of couples living together is the growth of the involved as individuals, as a couple and as human beings. Living together as a choice is quite a step ahead. It involves responsibilities, maturity and being “shackled” when you could choose to be “free”.
Irrespective of age, people actually grow. They learn to share, give more than they take, they learn to make do, give up and go without. And they get more in return! They realize, and epitomize, what happiness and love is. Not the dreamy kind with just flowers, confetti, hearts and burning passion in it. But the kind with all of the above but tangible and real.
It’s different from being married as it is the urge to stay and be together, getting to know the real person, without any compulsion, as a choice, just because you want to and not because they had to. And marriage is just another step where you let the families revel in your joys too. But this is just for the actual two in the relationship that one day is going to hold the families together.
Some say getting married and being unable to live with the person is worse than living together before and knowing they’d be incompatible, and hence having the freedom to move different ways before it’s too late. However much it is frowned upon, it’s difficult to argue that a bad live-in experience is much less worse than a bad marriage. Only one of them is easily reversible.
Then we should go back and wonder why we get married. Is it because we are supposed to? Or to procreate? Or is it to not live unnoticed, a life un-witnessed, unshared, unloved and die alone? If we marry for nothing but the promise of being together, being there for the other, what is wrong with living together? Every one of us don’t get signs, placards and arrows pointing “This is The ONE!!”, even if we do, we are too steeped in our day-to-day survival to understand or even notice them!
Living with the “prospective” one, and even this step is not a one not lightly taken, is way to re-discover your love and realizing all over again, why you had once told your friend, “I can’t imagine life without him/her”. And the couples who do, do it marvelously and makes one smile at their obvious affection and shared bliss that is more significant because of all the crossed bumps on the road. This is more real than the on-screen, in-books love stories. More special.
And yes, they probably have sex. But then just because some don’t live together, it doesn’t mean that they don’t… it is just the others don’t know for sure! 😉
Posted in Observer, People and Relationships
7 Comments
Getting Over
This post has been selected as a Tangy Tuesday Pick by Blogadda on December 21, 2010. Click on the image to see what’s so Tangy and do come back to find out for yourself. 😉
I didn’t know what to make of her. I was not her best friend but her only friend amongst all of us. All of us had been strangers to the other whereas she and I had a history. We had known each other, if not intimately but for three long years. And that time had meant something if we hadn’t a lot to each other.
That’s why I was irritated and that’s why I was sad.
She had never gotten over the fact that she had been dumped and that the circle of friends while never denounced her, or even condemn her, they’d never condoned her actions. The respect the guys, and even certain girls in the know, had for her had slipped several notches.
It is difficult to respect a girl who’d use the state of intoxication and the physical craving of any male to play her game with her rules.
However, the state of intoxication never lasts, sometimes even the memory doesn’t. Guilt and rebellion follow each other. And it has only one culmination. If otherwise the farce continues, it is a pity for all involved, not to mention the misery bound to crop up.
But this was ancient history.
Today, she is happy. We think. I think. There were so many guys. In between. Or at least the efforts to lasso. One did accept without coercion, we joked. Not in good taste but we did. We had drifted apart after the falling out. Because others were uncomfortable and so was she. It happened as a result of everyone knowing what the real story was and the other protagonist being stubborn enough not to let go an inch! But the protagonist was the one wronged, so no one could go up and say, “Dude, give her a break!”
Today she is not single. Obviously. All her life she has tried to hook herself up with every single, eligible guy she met. But that’s not our problem. Never was.
My problem was when I was missing my friends and the friends were missing us back… when we were talking about things being “not the same anymore”… about being scattered all over the world and not being in touch, not seeing each other through days, through things where we were always together… Suddenly this disappeared chapter comes back to poke and quip out of the blue, “It’s about time you realized that.”
My pissed reaction was, “Girl, get over it! It’s way past the time!” It happened a long time ago, and you are licking your age-old wounds even today! Accept your wrong and get over the rejection (and which was not even by us!). Coming from a person who never understood the friendship, and only understood machinations to keep every person close to her and separated from the other, all her statement exposed was as if she was happy at even the inkling that we had drifted apart. It was that ridiculous! She was that hung up with what had happened. She had never moved on. And she was still looking back and cursing us because we had! She was as bitter as she always had been.
At first I was irritated. And then I was sad. Love for this girl was only the fact that she wasn’t single! And that was it. I did wonder if even she herself understood that. I felt bad for our other friend, the guy she is now with. And I wondered, what stories had she fed him? Has she deluded him the way she has deluded herself? Or is it him who is the only one ignorant and innocent in the equation. None of my business, but I still can’t help wonder…
Posted in Non-Fiction, Observer
5 Comments
The Mystery
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 17; the seventeenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
He saw the pink and blue kite fluttering in the light breeze, wound and trapped around the crisscrossing wires running over the city, tired and tattered in its bid to freedom. The oil portrait of Frida on the green wall. The inconspicuous black laptop, shut lid, on the table and the cell phone on top. The tell-tale signs. Of all that he was familiar with. In his mind. Over countless conversations.
The crowded apartment overflowing with hushed voices were all but a buzz in his ears. There was an unnamed fear in his heart, an irrational wayward thought. And a burning in his throat, in the pit of his stomach and a pricking sensation in the back of his eyes as if they wanted to tear in the understanding of what his mind was yet to process. A numbing pain with the realization. Her?
Every night back from work, he looked at his laptop by his bed-side and would log on, willing her to come. His Morning Star. Hopelessness gave way to despair even as his heart refused to give up. She never came. As he knew in the deepest corners of his mind. She never would.
He’d walk down the road and look at the blooming roses and he saw the blood. Hers and his bleeding heart’s.
He didn’t know, he never would and he could tell none, ask none.
They had met so many times without ever knowing who they really were to the other. Without ever knowing that they were staring into the faces of their solace, their freedom, laughing while never knowing that they were each others’ joy, running into each other during the day without realizing that it was the other they turned to every night. Social acquaintances who never knew that they were lovers?
He still held out, selfishly, agonizingly, desperately, hopeful for his Morning Star, the one he was yet to meet, the one who didn’t know his name but knew his heart, the only woman he’d loved, even as the anguish crept in. But he’d never know….
Had it been her? Had she known it had been her? Had she known the last time they’d talked? Had she known it was that arrogant man she had met and worked with during the day was the one who sought her out every night, was the one who loved her. Had she known him before she died?
He would never know….
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
N.B. Adapted from the movie Antaheen (one of my all-time favorites), giving words, to the feelings, to the end of the movie, to what had been silently accomplished. Written just to be able to BAT again after a long time! Hope you enjoy it! Love, G. 🙂
Posted in BAT, Contests, Creations, Loss, Love, Novelette, People and Relationships
19 Comments

