Escape

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

One foot fell ahead of the other in an entrancing beat. In an untamed split of a second, one toe gripped the warm asphalt and disappeared in the next, even as the other shot forward to keep him moving. Without making any sound, without wasting an erg of energy, in an absorbing cadence of a bewitching music playing in his head, in a beguiling dance of survival and death, he ran.
 
The eyes had no vision as he plunged into the sultry, forbidding darkness for his life. There was no sound except that of the thick, heavy air cutting across, passing him by in a whoosh mingled with the rhythm of his own exerted panting. There was no sign of life, except the thudding of his heart, accelerated in exhaustion and fear. He ran.
 
He could not see. he could not hear. But he knew. He could feel.
 
The footsteps behind him, chasing him, driven by the maddening compulsion to suck the life out of him, closing on him. No one would understand, no one would feel but he could see in his head the cruel purpose hidden behind those hypnotizing black eyes.
 
And life surged back into his weakening, tired legs anew propelling him forward, faster and faster. Fed on adrenaline, his muscles crackled as they took him away like a scared monster patrolling the nights, his sinews stretched to breaking with the force of gushing blood but nothing took root as he ran on, with the only thought in mind: Escape.
 
He had to run away. as far as he could, where he could never be found. Into another world. Into safety. If there was one. 
 
His breath stopped and came. He gulped in the thick air in successive movements, as he fought for more, but he dared not stop. His visions collided, and converged. He could see every air particle blocking his progress, the darkness blocking the end of the endless night as he ran against fate, into nothingness.
 
Too scared to look behind, too afraid to pause for a moment, he ran on. In his flight to save the life throbbing within him, his arteries were stretched to the point of rupture, the blood spilled into his brain, casting a veil over his eyes, reddening his iris, the veins swollen and vivid on the sides of his forehead, and the carotid stark and bright against the pale of his throat. His heart, his life, was nearing to burst in its own quest to save itself.
 
Suddenly his eyes flew open, a sheen of madness still covering his eyes that couldn’t see the white of the ceiling, a ringing in his ears that couldn’t hear the creaking of the revolving fan. He was thrashing in his bed, gasping for air, entangled in the covers, sweat was running in rivulets down and across his torso, muddying his face, drops of blood leaked out of his nose, and some trickled down from the corner of his eyes. He was locked in his flight away from his unknown, faceless, non-existent nemesis… Still strapped to the iron rungs of the bed.
 
There was no escape. Ever.


N.B. It is not easy to delve into the mind of a schizophrenic. But it could be something like this. Writing this was very exhausting and compelling, as was trying to get into the character. This is my tribute to a certain important someone in my life who has been trapped in mind, too far long, too far gone to be completely brought back. Contrary to how this ended, there is always a hope, a cure for those who can detect and fight it early on. There is an Escape. Love, G.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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About Guria

An Artist in Science - I am a Misfit 'cause I choose to be one. "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform" And I am a Maverick, because, I'm... umm... brilliant?
This entry was posted in BAT, Contests, Creations, Darkness, Non-Fiction, Novelette. Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Escape

  1. Vibhuti B says:

    Fantastic Guria…
    Most vivid description. I can imagine how much of imagination is required to step into a mindset we cannot even fathom possessing.
    Except for a couple of grammatical errors (like plural of Iris- no 'es')that caught my eye, you had me wrapped up to the last word with ur fluent narration..:D
    ATB for BAt-10

    Like

  2. Guria says:

    @Vibhuti: Thanks so much! :))
    But I checked, the plural of 'iris' can be 'irises' too. But I will still revert back to just iris. Can you please point out the other errors, I hate them and am mortified that I actually made grammar mistakes! I am terribly sorry for those glitches! 😛

    Like

  3. great description. Splendid choice of words…

    Poore vocab ka paisa vasool!
    Liked it…

    Like

  4. Guria… *Standing ovation*… you are the best story telling ever….:D

    Like

  5. Nethra says:

    It would have been really difficult to get into that character, right? But you did it good. The details that you haven't missed is what that made the story more interesting.
    All the best for Blog-a-ton. 🙂

    Like

  6. writerzblock says:

    Gosh, that was compelling and disturbing… very well written!

    Like

  7. Well written. I like it. REALLY! 🙂

    Like

  8. Neha says:

    great one G..loved the narration..good luck for BAT.. 🙂 hope you win 😛

    Like

  9. Leo says:

    hi Guria, u r right, it is never easy stepping into anothers shoes and writing.. but for a schizophrenic, yes, perhaps early recognition is an escape..

    loved the narration, and irises can be a plural too.. that wd hv been fine! 🙂 good work & all the best for BAT10 🙂

    Escape

    Like

  10. The Fool says:

    Excellent use of words. Was totally drawn into the narration. However without the note, I was unable to figure it was schizophrenia. A small feedback.Maybe instead of an external note, you had used some in-story devise to explain it, might have seemed more magical.

    Like

  11. megzone says:

    Oh my terrific description.. what choice of words…
    simply splendid…
    and the flow of events/scenes
    marvelous… loved it 🙂
    All the bEst 😀

    Like

  12. Brilliantly captured what may go into minds of those unfotunate. Well done Gura. Powerful play of words.

    My sympathies to the someone you mentioned in the footnote. Sometimes life can be really cruel with people.

    Like

  13. Guria says:

    @Saurabh: Thank you!! 😀
    And more because of the help with my negligence! Owe you! You are a cherished reader, truly! =)

    @Sid:Thanks so much, Sid! Coming from you, I am honored beyond words! =)

    @Nethra: Hey girl, thanks a lot! Sadly, I cannot write without entering the head of the characters, that does make it kinda' difficult.

    @writerzblock: Hi, Welcome here! And thanks… :))

    @Arjit: Hey, good to see you. Thank you soo much! =)

    @Neha: Touché!

    @Leo: Thank you and thank you! =)
    Yes, early recognition and acceptance of it does really cure schizophrenia.

    @The Fool: How about
    He was thrashing, locked in his flight away from his unknown, faceless, non-existent nemesis… The plaque saying “Schizophrenia Ward” standing next to the bed, clattered to the floor, but his restraining straps still didn't give away.
    But then, it would have been too obviously deliberate isn't it?
    Plus, I like to think the Nota Bené as a part of the post! 😀
    But true thanks for enjoying! :))

    @megzone: Thank you! Making one enjoy the story is the best gift indeed! And welcome to MM! :))

    @Lakshmi: Thanks for your words. But the people who are on the other side of it day-in and day-out, they are the real hero-es for me. Family and its support. As to the post, I tried and it was really exhausting, I'm glad it turned out okay. Much thanks again! :))

    Like

  14. HaRy!! says:

    v hav de winner ppl!!!!!

    Like

  15. Harini says:

    You know you are my best story teller dont you??? This is really so great. To write what you did, it takes a lot of imagination. Awesome Guria! Really!

    Like

  16. Sureindran says:

    Your story-telling kept me reading till the last word. How imaginative? I very much understand the difficulty to get this post done but you made it happen! Keep writing.

    p/s: I am now suddenly interested in Schizophrenia, to know more.

    Sureindran R. – Escape

    Like

  17. I'm not really good enough to comment on this flawless article, though if I had to .. it's captivating !

    Guria, this is what I loved about your posts, they never let me move away till the last word. A tough subject, handled really well .. well done! 🙂

    All the best for BAT-10 ! 🙂

    ..escape !

    Like

  18. This is amazing..at first I thought he was being chased by zombies…

    very powerful story…loved the way you have written it..

    Like

  19. Vikas Khair says:

    Hey Guria Good Job.

    Great description keep it up

    Like

  20. I'm speechless to describe your way of story-telling. The closest that my poor vocabulary can reach is “out-of-the-world”. Really dig your blog. Keep on the good work, lady!

    http://m-s-h-f.blogspot.com

    Like

  21. Bikram says:

    Wowowo Hold on .. Look here .. right I am going to STAND UP
    HAND up in the AIR (mine)
    Arms Up in the air

    and now I am bending my back up and down…

    TUsIN GREAT HON …. jahanpanah…

    excellent STORY… loved it

    Like

  22. Truck Driver says:

    That was simply mindblowingggg …….. really awesome story…loved reading it ….. pheww i got goosebumps while reading it 🙂 …

    I hope you win it this time …. i loved it ….

    check mine @ http://truckdriver89.blogspot.com/p/escape.html

    Like

  23. Mehak says:

    exceptionally written! as a student of psychology, i can say that it was a vivid and apt description and the narrative was sharp and gripping. brilliant work..and i agree with your last lines about how there is always hope for things to get better…

    Like

  24. Dhiman says:

    People before have used the adjectives in my vocabulary 😀 … I agree with Neha this time not second but the title itself I think…

    Like

  25. Roshmi Sinha says:

    Very well narrated… you are quite a storyteller!

    All the best for BAT 🙂

    Like

  26. swayambhu says:

    Great post…a very vivid description, and thats what I liked the most..

    Like

  27. Rajlakshmi says:

    gripping narration…
    to get into his mind and express so beautifully… thats brilliant…

    All the best 🙂

    Like

  28. you ve excelled in the art of story telling!

    every word a story in itself 🙂

    Like

  29. Gripping narration and interesting flow…liked the description…
    You have got good presentation skills…
    liked the way you have mentioned the nuances ..
    Great work 🙂

    Like

  30. Saro says:

    Just one word for this post, racy and read like a thumping heart beat!

    All the best for Batom 10 and looking forward to reading more from ya 🙂

    Like

  31. Karan Shah says:

    Ah!! every emotion was given a sound
    wonderfully expressed..

    Like

  32. That was too amazing girl. This was the first 'Escape' post I read yesterday and I was just blown over by the description 🙂 I knew yours will be best entry that I would ever read and that's why hopped in here first. I have seen a schizophrenic but never saw just a vivid description about how they felt so far.

    Like

  33. Liked this one! Great attempt at entering a schizophrenic's mind!

    Like

  34. binzy says:

    Beautifully written. Each and every word of this story is apt. There's nothing better written than that. Great imagination !! I'll give you 10/10. Hope you win blog-o-ton 10. All the best !!

    YOUR POST LINK

    Like

  35. Rachana says:

    Great narration. Nicely penned!

    Like

  36. blabberblah says:

    I could almost feel my heart beat with the heart of the person in the story. Fast paced, and sad. It would be horrible to be trapped in a life that would just go on and on like this… 😦
    Best of luck for B-A-T!

    Like

  37. blabberblah says:

    * I just thought, it reminded me of someone trying to escape from substance abuse. 'Cold Turkey' is supposed to be the hardest stage of recovery. Scary…

    Like

  38. tikulicious says:

    Thank you for all your help. I loved your post. very well narrated. Best wishes to you

    Like

  39. Shilpa says:

    Gr8 narration. ATB for BAT 🙂

    Like

  40. Vipul Grover says:

    Gr8 narration ms. ghosh nd yeah u were totally in2 d character.. plus thr were two twists.. actually, in the last para frst i thot its a prsn who was dreaming, thn cam d line tht he was still tied, hence no escape.. bt yeah evn if it was not schizophrenia, it cn b a story of a kidnapped prsn.. bt yeah gr8 narration.. i only write sch long comments wn sumthing is gr8 or totally opposite of it 🙂

    Like

  41. Chatterbox says:

    Fantastic work 🙂

    Best wishes for the BAT 😀

    Cheers!!

    Like

  42. Karthik says:

    Excellent opening lines. I've always liked the way you start a story – which I believe is extremely important – and this one beats them all. And the last line is like a tap on the head. Brilliant!
    It was quite short compared to your other stories, but you know, I feel if you'd dragged it with a few more lines, it'd have lost its effect.
    I perfectly understand what you meant when you said, “Writing this was very exhausting and compelling.”
    Kudos, yaar. 🙂
    All the best! :))

    Like

  43. Shilpa Garg says:

    The racy and vivid description…I could visualize it!!
    Good narration.
    All the best for BAT-10!
    Cheers 🙂

    Like

  44. Guria says:

    @HaRy: Omigod! Isn't it too soon?!! 😀

    @Harini: Mwaaah! Luv ya' babes! 🙂

    @Sureindran: Thank you and I sure will! There are several kinds of Schizophrenia, no end to what there is to know.. it is very intriguing!

    @Sourav: Your words are always valued… Here too! Thank you dear friend! :))

    @Lazy Pineapple: Zombies, eh? Guess am not that imaginative!! I like it best when a reader enjoys reading, so Thank You! =)

    @Vikas: Thanks for your words and the follow! ^_^

    @Demented Actuary: And I dig that comment! 😉
    Thanks!! =)

    @Bikram: Hey, see huz here! Woohoo!! 😀
    Didn't “tussi great ho.. jahapana” come with something else? Oh well, never mind, thanks all the same! 😉 😀 😀

    @Truck Driver: Ohhkay! It doesn't matter if I win, when a reader appreciates a piece of creation the way you did! Thank You! :))

    @Mehak: Hi girl! Didn't know you were a pshycology student, if I had, I would have really gon eto you for pointers! My experience with schizophrenics though limited, has really made me introspect for many reasons… Thanks for enjoying! =)

    Like

  45. Guria says:

    @Dhiman: Aww, dude, you thinking that is as good as the title! Thank you soo much!! 😛 :))

    @Roshmi: Thank you dear! :))

    @swayambhu: Thanks a lott! =)

    @Rajlakshmi: It was a bit difficult getting into the mind, but thankfully it seems to have come out okay… I had hoped! Thanks, girl! =)

    @AD: Hi dear… it is an honour to see you here, every time! And it warms my heart to see your words… Thank You!!! :))

    @Mahesh: Was expecting you from long back… 😛
    Thanks for your appreciation! Finished voting, eh? :))

    @Saro: Thanks a lott! I will write more and better hopefully, will expect you then! 😀
    Thanks for your words, wishes and the follow! 🙂

    @Karan: Thank you! :))

    @Avada Kedavra: You are crazy, you know that?! You think too highly of me, more than I deserve but I cherish it and hope to live up to it, ek na ek din… Now go and read others, while I wait for WP blogs to load so that i can read yours! Love you! :))

    @Psych Babbler: Hey, long time….Thank you dear! =)

    Like

  46. Guria says:

    @binzy: Your words are enough to make me feel a winner! Thanks a ton! :))

    @Rachana: Thank you! 🙂

    @blabberblah: Yes, it is. They can't trust, they can't differentiate between real and imaginary most of the times… Substance abuse is pretty bad too!
    Thanks for enjoying and your wishes! :))

    @Tikuli: Hi! I was more than happy to help! Thank you for your wishes and enjoying my post! :))

    @Shilpa: Thank you, dear! =)

    @Vipul: so which am I? The total opposite?? It could be a kidnapped person, may be, but he wouldn't be locked away from reality and the nemesis couldn't have been non-existent. But Marshal, thanks for enjoying the narration, at least!! And of course for your presence! 😛 😀

    @Dr. Chandana Shekar: Thank you! For the follow too. :))

    @Chatterbox: Thanks a lott! =)

    @Karthik: I run out of words when you praise me… And I was waiting for your perception of the piece. Thank you soo much!!! :))

    @Shilpa: Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Your words always mean a lot. 🙂

    Like

  47. Richa Sharma says:

    wohooo!!! I'm sure writing this was very exhausting as you have done a great job.
    I will say, i did not just read it… i watched it!!

    Great job!! Kp Up!

    Like

  48. i m speechless – this is magnificent array of words and a wonderful narration!

    Like

  49. pawan says:

    I've read the post the day u've published it but every late comment has an excuse 😉

    The psychological aspects of human nature always mystified me and you've brought the elements of a psychological horror story in good manner. Truly, the real pain always lays inside, inside the mind,

    Good one!

    Like

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