My first thought was, “Damn, I’m pregnant”. I mean, I have just made it through a quarter of life so, it can’t possibly be old age that is making me sleep so much. But then, you just can’t wake up thinking you’re pregnant, you know– you have to do something to turn up that way. But to account for the amount I’m sleeping, not working– logging into Facebook, finding no new updates (because people are either sleeping or have work), logging out, and opening a new tab in the browser to log right back in about 33 seconds later, still nothing, and slide back in bed– I think the term ‘lazy’ cannot possibly encompass or define the extent of my activity, or inactivity, if you like.
Honestly! These young bones! For past three weeks, I went about with 4-5 hours of snatched sleep. I felt so awesome, even with the glaring dark circles under my eyes, to tell people, “Ho oh ohh, I am sleeping, only like four-five hours a day, yeah, just that much, ha ha ha… you know, work, responsibilities, blah blah blah” with my voice tinged with the subtle oh-it’s-nothing inflection, and the cool, slight, affected indifference. After all, there’s no point in long hours if you can’t show it off (lesson learned in grad school)!
So, I am not working right now. Which means I am sleeping. Of course the state of “no worries” really worries me, as if there’s something I should worry about and I am forgetting. Of course I am a worrier. It gives an useless fool like me the ultimate sense of purpose. Like I’m important enough to have worries- in a list of worries that features the economic turmoil of a country, the hungry children in Africa, the new drug-resistant tuberculosis bug. No wonder I feel important when I have to worry- about cooking fish, replying to my boss, scheduling dates, finishing assignments etc etc.
But I am sleeping. Almost all the hours of the day till he shouts and drags me out of the bed. He grumbles about going to work, coming back and cooking, and washing the dishes. But I am a sleep-induced zombie as I mutter, “I’m on vacation.”
And vacation equals sleep. Period. Argument closed.
I am a grad student after all.