This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 4; the fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
“Ouuuuuuuccccchhhh”, I gasped, well, of course as silently as possible, without opening my mouth, as one couldn’t do so without choking on water, in here. And anyway, when you hit a guy there, the yell ensuing is hardly audible.
Damn, I hate this life, stuck inside this, this bag full of icky sticky fluid and Sid always punching mom’s stomach, and somehow always manages to find that part. So what if I am protected by thick layer(s) of fats, it still hurts. And it’s not funny. I keep moving, changing my position constantly, as much as I as allowed to, but try living in here for a change. No room to stretch out at all, what was this bag-maker thinking? God, please take me out of here soon, I can’t take this any more.
Life is painfully pathetic in here. It is barely what it is hyped to be, trust me! I have to have all kinds of food in one state, and no taste! Mom hogs so many dishes, I cannot even smell them, but I have to keep hearing about them, alright. I keep hitting on her walls, with so much space in here, it’s hard not to, and she giggles thinking that I am listening to her and understanding what she is trying to say, or craving for something to eat. It is so very frustrating.
Only today I felt something pressing against me, my stomach and I couldn’t control. I have reflexes too, and yes, I farted, I had to. And the result? Well, Dad actually started dancing gleefully and thought I responded to him and spoke to him. For God’s sake, it was you pressing against me, and I was the one who ended up bearing the pathetic stink! God, when will you make these elders wise? Will they never grow up?? Send me out, I will make them wise enough for sure.
Life is painfully pathetic in here. It is barely what it is hyped to be, trust me! I have to have all kinds of food in one state, and no taste! Mom hogs so many dishes, I cannot even smell them, but I have to keep hearing about them, alright. I keep hitting on her walls, with so much space in here, it’s hard not to, and she giggles thinking that I am listening to her and understanding what she is trying to say, or craving for something to eat. It is so very frustrating.
Only today I felt something pressing against me, my stomach and I couldn’t control. I have reflexes too, and yes, I farted, I had to. And the result? Well, Dad actually started dancing gleefully and thought I responded to him and spoke to him. For God’s sake, it was you pressing against me, and I was the one who ended up bearing the pathetic stink! God, when will you make these elders wise? Will they never grow up?? Send me out, I will make them wise enough for sure.
Thirty Two years later:
My wife Neha, she is expecting our second kid in another month or so. Within a few days, we will be blessed with our second child. When my first child Guria was born, I was abroad on a tour working, and was back only after she was a week old. Oh, I so used to miss those precious moments when Guria was inside her womb. The first time when Neha had felt Guria’s kicks inside her stomach, I had felt like leaving my job behind and running back home. Everyone around had rejoiced. And I was slogging in the foreign land unable to be with Neha when she needed me the most, unable to share those cherished moments of our life. But this time I am where my family needs me, Neha needs me, with a promotion to the boot and a comfortable, teetering on luxurious, life, happily waiting for the much awaited, joyous moment together.
Our three-year old Guria keeps patting her Mamma’s stomach wondering why it is so big. These pats are a bit hard- almost like a slap on Neha’s stomach- though it does make Neha a bit uncomfortable, but they are not hard enough to hurt the baby inside as he is well protected there.
This morning I rested my head on Neha’s abdomen, and was it my imagination or the baby did make a sound, as if he knew, it was his Papa? But whatever it was, the feeling in my heart was incomparable, my hear felt as if it would burst with happiness. I’d never felt so very content and blessed in my life before.
This morning I rested my head on Neha’s abdomen, and was it my imagination or the baby did make a sound, as if he knew, it was his Papa? But whatever it was, the feeling in my heart was incomparable, my hear felt as if it would burst with happiness. I’d never felt so very content and blessed in my life before.
I laughingly told my brother that, I so wish I were a baby again, enjoying all this attention and pampering even before birth, with no worries about feeding the family, work, the future, and only getting mother’s protection, warmth and everyone’s love, all the time. Sid jokingly retorted, that all this love and attention was going to make the baby spoiled even before he is born.
Guria suddenly left her toys and came running to Neha. The usual hard pats landed on Neha’s stomach, and we were all laughing again.
Guria suddenly left her toys and came running to Neha. The usual hard pats landed on Neha’s stomach, and we were all laughing again.
“Eeeeoowwwww” I gasped silently inside Mamma’s stomach. Guria always has to hit me there! Damn you! On the very day I come out, I will kill you, Guria! Just wait!!
P.S. Nomenclature:
- Neha and Guria, the blogger masterminds behind this write-up.
- Sid, the one who wants to kill them both. 😉
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
Maverick Misfit 
Am i the first one to comment??
It was hilarious to the core..loved it till the end.
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Nice post….
Life is painfully pathetic in here. It is barely what it is hyped to be, trust me! I have to have all kinds of food in one state, and no taste! ……..
I liked these words….. rational, apt, relevant, pragmatic and evolutionary….
It is quite different perception to the concept of kid…
cheers 🙂
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Daisy Blue
Hey, Thanks yaar!! Enjoyment is the real reason behind the post!! :))
Hi Mahesh
Different perception of a kid is exactly what was aimed here….
Thanks for thinking it's that much insightful…
But actually it's an attempt at sarcastic humour amongst all the serious and nostalgic ideas of being a baby again! 🙂
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hahahaha, hilarious to the tee…loved it…good luck maverick 🙂
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Well, Neha what can I say… You inspired me!! And I only did what I do best! 😉
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Good so see that the exams did not deter you Ms. Defending Champ 🙂
(Best of luck if you are still in the midst of it..)
Though I may be missing some of the nuances, the post was hilarious and to drag Neha and Sid into the post/story was unique..
All the best !
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interesting post…
Hilarious one…:)
liked the way you put the different view by empathizing a kid…
Best of luck… 🙂
Cheers!!
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and i see the facebook quiz results spiling over a little..free
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what next??
u dint explain my birth??
i was waiting for this part..
a very good post again, Mumma..
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he he:)…nice one:)…there is somethin for u:)..do collect it dear
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Oh,that was really cool!Baby's fart inside the womb-ew 😛 lol great going!
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Hey, Madhu
Ms. Defending Champ?? Like the the sound of it!! 😀
Actually with my exams I couldn't really write… but letting a month go seemed a waste so, this attempt! The post was written in a hurry indeed… but if you did find it hilarious, you didn't miss a thing! And while thinking about naming the characters, it seemed apt!! I wonder who the narrator and his second child is!! 😀 😛
Hi Amit
Well, just trying to be different from the mould 😛
This is a very difficult topic and the post was written in a hurry… Not a bad attempt, eh?? 😀
Thanks… :))
Hey soin
Just a bit! 😉
So you laughed or you did not?? 😛
Hiya Rahul-bete
Well, Sid was actually Rahul but you can't be Guria's uncle now, can you?! 😉
So you are the next to next generation!! 😛 😀
So liked it huh… Thanks :))
Hey Nan
I just checked!! Thank you so much sweetheart… :~))
I am not a very regular commentator… but as you know I love, and regularly read, all that you write… Thanks again! >(hugs)< Heyy Miss_Nobody
Good to see you!!! The “touch” of fart was cool naa?? 😀
Thankss :))
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too bad we dont remember those days of ours !!!
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Hahahaha..This was truly different that other posts on I; especially thF I were a baby again..
Loved it; especially the infant struggling inside…err..i mean not literally 😛
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Superb post, extremely hilarious it covers both the viewpoints beautifully.
Now I see some truth in the saying;
“The world is always better on the other side of the tummy!!!”
Do check out my post too.
Keep blogging
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Hey Naveen
I don't agree… I'd say, thank God, we don't remember those days of ours!! 😀 😀
Otherwise everybody would have been born claustrophobic! 😛 😀
Hi Insignia
Great to see you here. You are one of the few, I was sure, who'd appreciate this write!! 😀
Yeah, a struggle indeed! No pun intended!! 😀
Thankss…
Hey ARJuna
Read it the moment it showed up on my dashboard! 😛
Didn't comment tho'… I looked for your entry over at Blog-a-Ton, couldn't find it!
I am glad you enjoyed the humor!! :))
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good post liked it to the core
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Hey Saimanohar
Thanks a ton!! 🙂
I like this post in here too… 😛
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Hahaha…that was really funny!
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Good one.. you aimed that on your bro and father huh??? a creative wat of putting things… all the best for this BOTAM too 😛
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good one, funny and cute 🙂
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Hey Psych Babbler
Thanks… 😛
You laugh and the post'sa success!! :))
Hey Rajalakshmi Umapathy
Thanks, girl! All the best to you, too. :))
Harsha Chittar
Thanks! 🙂
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Ha ha!! A very funny hilarious post! 🙂
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Ha! Ha! An entertaining post… served with a dash of humour 🙂
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Really nice post Guria! Hats off to you!It is really funny!!
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and its good to be back!I'm stalking you,see? :PThe touch of fart was ingenious,magnifique! 😀
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Aaaila… kya baddami kar rele ho meri tum log…
the write up is superb…somewhat!!!
Althought i do not hurt pretty ladies, but my resolve solidifies on reading this…
my my… u entered womb for blogaton…gosh…
but then… hey, I did not miss Blogaton, I am here…wu hu..:D
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Hey, a really entertaining post thr S**** without a 'h' 🙂
It seened like Baby:Aaj Kal :p
Had a nice time reading it.. all d best!
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“..I wonder who the narrator and his second child is!! 😀 😛 ..”
You read minds ? That was what I was thinking when I said 'I might be missing some nuances ' 🙂 . Did not want to ask and be rude ..
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Here comes the defending champion to defend her blog-a-ton title.. and it seems the champion had delivered another nice post for blog-a-ton…
a very good post guria and very funny… the farting and the dad assuming that the baby responded to him was very funny… I thought this time guria might not be participating as she had her exams.. thus giving chance to other participants to taste the success of blog-a-ton… but it seems there is no such chance….all the best for grabbing the chetan's book..
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I really like your site. It's hilarious. I have a humor site as well and I'd like to exchange links with you and spread some traffic around. Let me know if this is possible.
Sincerely,
Jason
HilariousHeadlines.com/talk
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A very different and engaging read…. though, there was ample scope to make this wittier…
enjoyed reading this one and some other posts of yours. Thanks.
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haha nice nice..koi bacchi se bhi pucho kitni takleef hoti hain…!!right??i was just speaking to my cousin about this..she has a 3 yr old child and she says large crowd makes the child uncomfortable..now i kno why..all those cheek pulling and so on…must be tring as hell..and now Guria writes about INNER SORROWS of the INNER BEING..:) nice nice…i am yet to read other posts..but this is nice..i couldnt find my award…technical support pleas..
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Girl this was sooo damn hilarious.. you really ROCK 🙂 hehehehe.. you proclaimed that sid is the killer 😀 hehe.. lets see what sid has to say about this 🙂 I am waiting for him to read this post. It was a damn cute post. How do you even come up with such ideas? Another blog-a-ton eh? 🙂
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My post on this sucks big time 😦 no creativity at all 😦
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Hi Shilpa
I am glad you laughed! 🙂
Thanks!
Hey Roshmi
First time here, right? So Welcome, with all violins playing, to the MM! 😀
And thank you for reading and commentating… From the next time, I'll rake your presence for granted!! 😀 😀
Kiddish behaviour apart, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks 🙂
Hi pra
After a long, long time! Am so glad to have you BACK!! I'm happy!
I am sad that you didn't participate this time…
Good you had fun reading at least! Thanks 🙂
Hiya Sid
yeah, ended up commemorating the great Sid in Blog-a-Ton 4…
Why 'somewhat'?? I immortalised you! 😀
And I didn't re-enter the womb… remember I am Guria! 😉
I wonder who did?!! 😀
Heyy Vipul
Aaargh Marshal!! Don't call me that… 😛 😀
Can't I live that down!!
Blog-a-Ton's effect that it sounds like Baby-AajKal… I am obsessed!! 😀
I so wanted to be the last one to submit, as the Marshal always votes for that one! 😛
Salute 😉
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Hi Shankar
Ahh Shankar, you make my day with such comments. You are spoiling me! 😛
Well, I thought I won't participate, I was so tired, but it felt worse missing it. And nopes, defending champ sounds good. Madhu called me that too 😛 Like it… 🙂 I don't think I am soo good to win again!! You thinking it is enough!! THnak you, thank you!! 😛 🙂 🙂
Hey Jason
Welcome aboard and thanks a lot 🙂
I will visit your site, and drop a word there.
Hi Talking Skull
Welcome aboard on MM. Where you should expect the unexpected. No wit when you expect it. And very lousy humour to always make you back for more. It's like an addiction! 😛
Actually, on retrospection you are very right… but coming back tired from an exam and writing as fast as possible (of which half the time was spent thinking up names and colours! :P) this is enough… at least I participated… and I should also give my other Blog-a-Tonics a chance, right? Shouldn't do to win all the time eh?? 😀 😀
Actually I read your post, loved it, so I guess you'd understand my poor attempt at humour here 😛
Honestly, I am not so good… 😛
And thanks for the words! Am honoured! 😛 🙂
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Hey again! Miss_Nobody
Wow! must be doing something great!! I am making people come back! Wow, Stalker, am feeling like a celebrity here. I'd never have believed the power of a good fart err… post! 😀
Howdy Madhu
See, I have another reader back!! Must be doing something right! 😛
You wouldn't have been rude to ask Madhu… There's some genealogy involved here… but don't ask me, I'm too confused!! 😀 😛
See, I am NOT the narrator, I'm Guria!! lol… :))
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Now that's a fun post on what is supposed to be a fun topic 😀 ROFL
I took a really morose view and everyone has been commenting on that 😦
Looks like, laughter is really the best dose
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Noooooooo! I've commented before. But generally been a silent stalker 🙂
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I liked the humour in this post though it is sarcastic. I always like the way you present it. very disciplined. All the best.
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oh nice one
you made it more interseting by forwarding it 32 yrs
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You did justice to the Daisy Blue's original idea for suggesting this topic… FUN 😀 … All the Best for defending the title 😀
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Heyy Narendra
Finally Einstein! 😛
Knew you'd understand the inner sorrows! lol….
Thanks re! :))
I will be mailing you the remaining support! 😀
Hi Avada Kedavra
Thank you sweetheart! Was waiting for you! And leaving witnesses just in case Sid is successful! lol…
Hello Debosmita
Well, anything to lighten the mood! 😛
Thanks for the comment, am glad you laughed! :))
Hi Bharathi
This is probably the second comment you've made in here, he first being in Blog-a-Ton 2, if I remember correctly! 😛 😀
Yeah, I kinda love sarcasm… 😛
Thank you, so much for saying you 'always like my posts', honoured!! 🙂
Hey Chetan
Thanks Chetan! Just another funny story! 😛
HiyaDhiman
That was sexactly the idea, FUN…. to an already nostalgically executed topic! :))
Thankss… 🙂
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Hey Roshmi 🙂
I have seen you on other blogs so much, that I couldn't decide whether it's your first time around! 😛
Still I checked for comments, really! That's why I posed it as a question! 😛
Anyways, I can always welcome you all over again! 😀
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lolzzz loved the ending… and how you have presented the world from both inside and outside views 🙂
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“Hahahaha!!! this was so damn funny, really!! I don't wanna be a baby either but somehow your reasons never came into my mind! 😀 😀
Now I know why babies are never given memories…
ROFL…
After so much procrastination and introspection and (other big words) with other posts, I may actually end up voting for you!!! 😀 😀
No posts made me laugh so much!
I am still laughing….”
Thanks!
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I was only quoting you to you! But do notice the rather courteous “Thanks” that I left after the quote!
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Arn't you sweetness personified ! Thanks for the second comment on my post. Means a lot. If I do, I owe you one 🙂
Good Luck !
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Guria,
Hilarious! Btw, am confused with our relationship status! Another blog-a-ton victory eh?! I think you will be the toughest competitor! (of all times!)
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