TRifLiNgS, ReALLy


All the events and characters are almost fictional. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is an irony of fate, and purely coincidental, since I didn’t ask you to read this.



Gawking Today @ People and Relationships
   Every one likes poking their noses, long or flat, into others’ business, especially in others’ love lives. So here goes one such. A friend told his girlfriend, “Do you know (let’s call her) G never asks for anything from (let’s call him) M. And look at you, you are always ‘I want this’, ‘I want that’… you have a lot left to learn, you know!” His girlfriend retorted, “Did you know, why she never asks for anything from your friend. That’s because, he spends thousands on her just like that! She doesn’t even have to ask! You have a lot left to learn… you understand, mister?!!…” (buzzzz)
   M was amused and surprised. He told G what his friend had told him (Yaar! What have you done? I am finished being compared to you raat-din/day and night), and asked her, “When did I start earning so much that I’ve started spending thousands? What did you tell her?” G smile mischievously and said, “I lied. Your friend thought it was very macho to praise himself to his girlfriend, in front of yours, by telling her how better he is than you. So, I thought let’s see how better his balls are. Now it seems his balls will have to go on exile. Or his bank balance will!

*

   Four friends were having an argument- let’s name them- Ravi (another lawyer), his wife, Ria, M and G (the leading couple). The topic of argument for the last 20 minutes: the age-old feud between woman and man. Ravi was very heated up and practically shouted at Ria, “It is  the duty of the woman to care of her husband and the household, and not earning money. The place of a woman is at home.” Ria was incensed. “@#^$#%^^!@#$!!”
   M was keeping mighty quiet. Ravi found he was going to be outranked, outclassed and outdone by the women, he turned to M, “Arre, say something yaar!” M quietly replied, “I think women can do anything. After all, it is only a woman who can hold a family together, the most important of all things.” G was ecstatic, she smiled triumphantly at Ravi, who was dumbfounded, and softly smiled at M. After the ladies had left, Ravi turned to M, “What did you just do? You were supposed to be on my side?!” M said, “I was on your side. I said what you did, only, to use your law jargon, I re-phrased the statement. I just used the tact you use in courtrooms, and I’ll be the one sleeping in my own bed tonight and you, in the couch!”
*

She knew he was seeing some other girl. Actually she was sure of it. She planned to catch him unaware. She went to his house and started banging on his door, shouting, “Come on Ratul, I know you are in there… Open up! It’s going to be a lot worse if you don’t.” She heard a scuffle, a couple of curses and a thud. She banged even harder. Ratul opened the door, with his shirt half-buttoned, hair messed, but grinning broadly. She stalked inside and asked in a deceptive calm, “Where is the bitch?”. Ratul smiled, “Oh, you know about her? I wanted to surprise you! But don’t worry, all my friends already like her. She takes a bit too much of my time but I’m sure you will approve of her, and fall in love with her, just like I did.” She was incredulous. She decided to take matters in her own hands and stalked to his room and threw the door open, and stared. It was a puppy. “Isn’t she pretty”, Ratul intoned.
[Later, much later, Ratul sent a text message: Sry i had 2 rush u out d bak door but my mom came home early. C ya tmrw, tc! 🙂]

*

   We, cousins and friends, were having a gala time, chatting and joking, at my cousin’s place. Suddenly, we heard my aunt shouting at my uncle in their bedroom, “Drop your pants! Drop your pants, I say!… Don’t waste my time, do it fast! I have many chores to do after this!” There was a sudden lull in our conversation, and then we all started talking loudly, all at the same time, trying to pretend we couldn’t hear the shrill voice that was absolutely making our ears throb. Later we learned, the doctor had prescribed compresses twice daily for the huge, painful boil on uncle’s thigh.


N.B. Did your almost overwhelming response to my last set of observations made me do a re-take? Not at all. I just found these purging. And then, whatever number of times you smile, there’s always room for more. Keep that Smile!


Again, these may be true events. I have no idea.
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About Guria

An Artist in Science - I am a Misfit 'cause I choose to be one. "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform" And I am a Maverick, because, I'm... umm... brilliant?
This entry was posted in Laughs, Observer. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to TRifLiNgS, ReALLy

  1. Sapphire says:

    OMG!! This was HILARIOUS!! I still cannot stop laughing!! I'll die laughing 😀 😀 I can't even decide which one is the funniest – they are all just awesome!!

    Like

  2. R S V says:

    as I said you have a great sense of humor..
    TAKE A BOW!!

    Like

  3. Yellow Tulip says:

    he he nice one again:)

    Like

  4. heh heh heh…super…'Drop your pant' gosh!!!

    dont tell me u actually went on asking them about d incident…:P

    Like

  5. Vipul Grover says:

    Hey nice witty n funny short stories thr:)

    Like

  6. pra says:

    I love all the incidances! They are sooo funny! Ha…ha…ha…
    You have an award waiting for you on my blog! Please collect it!

    Like

  7. Dhiman says:

    Witty short stories. BTW why do most “naughty” boys need to be called Ratul?

    Like

  8. Guria says:

    Hiya Dhiman

    You are sure these are just stories! 😀

    I was typing “Rahul” but I have a blogger buddy with that name, so since 'T' was nearby (in the keyboard) I typed that instead oh 'H'! 😛

    So, are all the “naughty” boys indeed called 'Ratul'? 😀

    Cheers ^_^

    Like

  9. R S V says:

    now..what does that mean?
    are all boys named RAHUL naughty??

    I am not too unhappy about it though!!

    Like

  10. Guria says:

    Thank God you are not unhappy Rahul, because otherwise I'd have to think of some obscure Indian name, that no one can possibly have!!

    No wonder, I use American names for my characters or no name at all! 😛

    But here, I have to use Indian names 'cause, I am not sure whether they are just stories! 😉

    So you tell us, are you “naughty”??!!! 😀

    Cheers ^_^

    Like

  11. Shruti says:

    Guria ji!
    Nice set of stories!!
    Gud one!

    Keep Smiling!

    Like

  12. Guria says:

    Shruti,

    Girl, for the last two comments why are you calling me “ji”?!! :O

    It's embarassing, yaar!
    I am not that old!!! 😀

    Whatever happened to “Sreya” ???

    Love. ^_^

    Like

  13. HaRy!! says:

    hmm yu actually came up with these stuff?? lol ..short funny stories are the best! 🙂 nice one with the Ratul! and hey nice signature!

    HaRy

    Like

  14. HI Guria,

    haha..Hilarious it was..:)

    And ur observations were very keen .. heh (Abt ur previous post..) ..Titan raga .. hah .. well u have missed it for now..:)

    Like

  15. Neha says:

    aah, some laugh today…good incidences…i quite liked the ratul one…n y ppl sulking bout the name? does it anyways matter?

    Like

  16. Shilpa Garg says:

    Good one!! Had a smile throughout!! So I guess, Mission Accomplished!! 😀

    Like

  17. Sourav !!! says:

    P.S: LOL !!

    Your sense of humor actually sucks much more thn mine … you got a 'knee' jerk reaction 😛 and place my half a Re. bet, it's a true story … something similar have happened when I was at a friend's place ..

    “do it faster, why do you waste so much time” ! I'm sure with so much crap there in your knees .. you would understand 😀

    Take Care .. Keep LOL'ing 😉

    Like

  18. Guria says:

    For those who really laughed

    I am glad I could make you!! 🙂

    And as for the stories, are they really, I don't know! 😛

    Thanks for all the kind words…

    Sapphire
    [your comment bolstered my courage in keeping this posted]

    Rahul

    Sid
    [err.. there was no reason to ask, just try and imagine the state of my cousin]

    Yellow Tulip

    Vipul

    pra

    Dhiman

    Shruti

    HaRy
    [an extra thanks, after all the compliment is from the cartoonist himself!!]

    Pramoda
    [welcome on board! Good to have you here!]

    Neha
    [Haah! Boys! What else can we say! Too sensitive! ;)]

    Shilpa-ji
    [Is it, “mission accoplished”, am so glad then!]

    Sourav
    [Err.. I don't think I understood… but I think I know it wasn't anything complimentary! :D]

    Thank you all, all over again!!
    Smiles from Guria.

    ^_^

    Like

  19. Aditya says:

    Hilarious to the core.

    These are real stories. I am sure 😉 hehe

    DRop your pants .. gosh rofl =)) The best story after the puppy one 😀

    Like

  20. these are just “stories” or did they actually happen? (I have a doubt which one is made up and which one is real :D) the second one was too good.. “drop your pants” made me ROTFL like anything.. a very hilarious collection gal!

    Like

  21. Shruti says:

    Hereafter don't expect me to give respect 😛
    You are alwys the same misfit girl sreya!!

    Like

  22. olive oyl says:

    it's hilarious!

    by the way, the disclaimer is amazingly great 😛

    Like

  23. Guria says:

    Hey olive oyl

    Welcome to MM. Great to have you here!

    I am so glad that someone noticed the disclaimer. Finally. 😀

    And you are my 50th follower!!!

    Celebrations!! 😛

    Cheers ^_^

    Like

  24. Paritosh says:

    Kewl!! I loved all of them and specially the last one. Damn good!

    Like

  25. ya hav great sense o humour gal……………

    Like

  26. Srivatsan says:

    lol!
    third one seems like an ad..!

    keep writing!:)

    Like

  27. Tirtha says:

    LMAO!

    Like

  28. aativas says:

    Nice short stories.. made me smile and laugh.. 🙂

    Like

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