Anonymous Me

I have been duly reprimanded.

Call it a lovers’ tiff, but I have been justly punished by my lady love, Neha. (Can’t say I wasn’t warned!) But like an unsuspecting poor soul in love facing the gallows (even though it was my indiscretion in a completely unrelated matter in the first place) I should at least be allowed to defend my case. So, this is just for not to be thrown in without a trial. (The lawyer’s brushing off on me!)
I have two Facebook accounts, one as G and another as S. My real name isn’t a secret, just not used as the writer-blogger’s who pens in here.

I like keeping in touch with people over on Twitter and Facebook. People includes bloggers and ones I know in real life. Bloggers have a lot of fun over on Facebook and Twitter, I don’t think it is too wrong to interact with them outside of the formal comments’ section of their and my blogs. So I use the nom de plume by which they know me here.

If one likes and enjoys my blog (which I am not sure many do) that I write very damn honestly as Guria, why do they have problems with using that as the name of the Facebook friend? I mean that is how you know me in the first place, virtual or not.

Again, some of my blogger friends are on my real FB account as they are friends, like Neha, Harini among others, who know me beyond the blogger-me (beyond Maverick Misfit). On Guria, I can add bloggers blindly, but never on the other account. Why would I add bloggers I don’t really know on my non-blogging profile when it is meant for people who actually know me? The other option is don’t at all be friends with bloggers, stay away from pages and people like Blog-a-Ton, GingerChai, Indiblogger, Blogadda etc.

Guria is my nick, a nick that not everyone calls me by but a nick all the same. I have social obligations like anyone else in the physical world where I cannot be ‘the misfit girl’. I value the freedom of expression that this tag and this blog gets me, away from the confines of the world and people I meet/know on daily basis or just socially. So, it’s feels strange when I see people thinking that I am hiding the real me just because I am not using my real (well, Guria seems pretty real to me tho’) name… When the truth is I do not use my proper name to be the real me!

It is not the bloggers whom I keep out but the people I know socially that I do. If it is my freedom that is challenged, Maverick Misfit comes first and I’d rather not be friends with anybody. I am almost jealous of the people who can be themselves everywhere, sadly I am not one of them.

There are more layers to a person than just the name. And I still don’t understand why the perception is that by two names, the personality changes! Managing two accounts is not easy or something I enjoy but it’s a small price to pay for having a part in the virtual world that also brings me solace. (Neha: I ping you from two accounts just to irritate you! ;))

But it hurts if one thinks that it is duplicity (or trickery) to have two accounts when all it is, is breaking free on my part.



N.B. I write and always will as Guria. I tried tricking no one including my school friend (I had debated for a long time whether to tell her or not, when I had realised that she was) but my anonymity was (is) important to me. I have often left comments with my real name, have been commented to (and still am) with it, and it is not a secret. S stands for Sreya (without the H) but I’d still love you to call me Guria. Neha, don’t feel guilty, it’s not your fault that I am stupid (I’d thoroughly enjoyed your post, had known what it was for after all!). You know, I love you. G. 🙂

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About Guria

An Artist in Science - I am a Misfit 'cause I choose to be one. "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform" And I am a Maverick, because, I'm... umm... brilliant?
This entry was posted in Bloggers, Friends, Me, People and Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Anonymous Me

  1. Neha says:

    you know what I think about you already. I have expressed my opinion too on this subject. This arrangement does not suit me. the reason is simple – If I am adding a person on my friends list, I want to know the real person and not the anonymous/pseudonymous one. I can always interact with the anonymous you on your blog; then why do I add you if you do not even trust me enough to show your real self to me – simple as that.

    again, it is my opinion completely. People with two accounts will agree with you while the others will disagree. Many will agree with both of us just to please us; what matters is our comfort.

    G or S, I love both. and that ends the matter for me as I know the real Guria 🙂

    Like

  2. Agree with you G 🙂 I am sailing in the same boat.

    Like

  3. Guria says:

    @Neha: Like you told me, that problem shouldn't be mine… If someone doesn't like adding me by my other name, then they shouldn't do it. Right, babes? 🙂

    @Avada: okay, I missed your name in my post and if I try and edit the post format is going haywire. So just so you know, you are one of my special friends, a prize from blogging! 😛 🙂

    Like

  4. My Dear Sreya……u can call urself anything u feel like…but i am gonna call u Sreya….thats the name u used when u first commented on my blog.

    Anyways…its a futile discussion….whats in a name!!

    Love ur comments and posts.

    Like

  5. Listen Everybody….we are living in an age of increasing “BACKGROUND CHECKS”…….in future …say after 15 years something u wrote NOW in ur blog can be used AGAINST u.

    So its only wise.

    Note: Obama gave this advice to american teens about putting up personal details in blogs and social networks!……and i have read it in many articles.

    Take Care

    Like

  6. CRB checks need to be done before opening accounts he hehehe…

    but dont know why i wud want two accounts.. I am who I am .. where I am .. either u like me or u dont.. simple rule

    🙂

    Like

  7. Harini says:

    Reading my name in post makes me feel so so special. You just dint make my day but also day after that :P.

    Coming to topic I can say that being anony gives you more freedom.

    Like

  8. Rajlakshmi says:

    whats in a name afterall 🙂
    We love you both as Guria and Sreya (without H) 😛

    Like

  9. Nethra says:

    It doesn't matter, at least for me. What matters is what you write because I enjoy reading your writings and have no other personal interests in you… It should be like that, right?
    Anyway, I always thought that Guria was your real name.

    Like

  10. Shilpa says:

    G or S…. it doesn't matter… after all its your choice 🙂

    Like

  11. well I added Sreya first on my FB list before I was removed and Guria added me… it felt weird at first… i was like why the hell would she do that? But then I decided not ask you that question because I respected your thinking… there loads of bloggers out there who use another name… i do find it weird but then its upto them…

    Cheers to Sreya and Guria…. 🙂

    Like

  12. Karthik says:

    Aing?! *scratches head*
    What's so big about this anyway? 😀

    Like

  13. I think when we read a blog we learn a lot about the person anyway, I am fine with a psuedonym.

    Like

  14. hey I have two accounts as well. I guess it is each one's choice…plus it is fun to be someone else for a while..

    Like

  15. Guria says:

    @IP: Some regular joker you are, aren't you! Love your blog too… 😀
    (Psst, I made you spell my nmae right! ;))

    @Bikram: Cool! I am always me too, but I'd rather not rant in front of everybody… that's personal! 🙂

    @Harini: Arre, you had doubts? Of course, you are special! 🙂
    Freedom is all I seek after all! =)

    @Rajlakshmi: Thank you dear… your words are a treasure! 🙂

    @Nethra: Guria indeed is my real name! Just not the name on my passport i.e. not my official name! 😛 :))

    @Shilpa: Thank you! 🙂

    @Tavish: You could have asked me… too much talk about blogging gave away my identity as 'the misfit girl'… something that I didn't want… Sorry for the hassle. 😛 :))

    @Karthik: That's why you are sucha good buddy! 😀

    @IM: My point exactly. And more than what you can know from FB anyway! 😛

    @LP: Or sometimes just fun to be me without social restrictions… the misfit that I am! 😀

    Like

  16. Smitha says:

    I agree with you. I blog in my real name, and used one FB account – until recently. I had the same problem. I was not sure if I wanted to add every blogger I know into my personal circle. Then of course, I have made some really close friends while blogging and they are part of my inner circle, but until that happens, I feel more comfortable having a separate account for blog mates 🙂

    Each to his own, I guess, whatever works for each..

    Like

  17. @G: u dont need to be sorry… I feel its kinda cool actually… even though u say G and S are the same person… one fine day when and if we do meet… it would give me a chance to know a totally different side of u… 🙂

    Like

  18. Debosmita says:

    The school friend you did not intend to trick knew your name as Sreya but simply did not think that you would be THAT Sreya! Had I not seen your photo on N-Zine, I would have never known also. As I said,initially I was a little miffed at being caught at the wrong foot, (I even commented once here “Oh you are a Bong etc!!!) but then I realised that its absolutely ok if you want to keep your real identity a scecret.
    Tell me, do your real-life friends know about your blog?
    Blogging in your real name has its own pitfalls. I, for example, face it sometimes from clients, whom I definitely do not want on my personal blog! But all they need is a simple google search to land there. I always have to be extra-careful while posting. Imagine the freedom anonymous/pseudonymous blogging!
    Chill 🙂 and do come for the Blog-a-ton meet; we can catch up after a long time…

    Like

  19. Guria says:

    @Smitha: Exactly! Even my seconf FB account is pretty recent… but as you said, whatever works! 🙂

    @Tavish: Thanks for ebing understanding! 😀

    @Debosmita: The comment you talked about, I'd checked on my email, and had never known your full name then… so, I didn't know who you were! Later, much later I found you out thru BAT… 😛
    Was shocked, to meet you again blogging, of all things!! 😀
    Not all of my real-life friends know about the blog, but that's the idea- Vent, Full-time!! 😀

    Like

  20. NesQuarX says:

    I'd like to share my mixed views here, since I respect G a lot as a blogger and though solely through here writing, also as a person. On that context, if I were to add her on facebook for some reason, I'd not expect the personality G who is nonexistent as the commonly accepted idea of a person but the person who's S in this case.

    It's just that websites like facebook are to connect with people who are persons and not merely personas. I understand being a layered person, but that doesn't warrant the layers to be treated as different physical people.

    On the other hand, the need for anonymity can be satiated via multiple accounts only when the accounts are accepted to be belonging to personalities rather than persons, like blogs and twitter, where multiple outlets are accepted. And there too, scruple dictates; if you're a persona, just be so and don't speak as your person.

    Well, it's just my personal opinion, but if I wish to find the person behind Maverick Misfit in facebook and am met with just another facade of Guria, who's all about her blog – I'd feel cheated.

    Like

  21. Guria says:

    @NesQuarx: You are talking about personas and personalities, where there is only one! I understand your point, it's very well put across.
    But where I fall short of explaining properly is, G is S, there is no difference in person, persona or personality! Except G is S with the blog! My profiles are same in both accounts, I even like the same pages on both accounts. Except in G, I have the freedom to talk about my blog and everything that I write in here.
    It's not about layers, but about freedom, and there's definitely no facade, for that would be hypocrisy! :))

    Like

  22. silcador says:

    Very interesting discussion! I feel that the underlying issue is the overloading of the term 'friend'. In days of yore, being a friend was simple – someone you knew through some association, and had a mutual liking. The issue is far more complicated now that we use the same term for offline and online associations. More so when the nature of our interactions are fundamentally different in the two scenarios. Maybe the support for two kinds of lists (with proper segregation of content) – 'friend' and 'virtual-friend' – is what is needed. In the absence of which, your solution seems to be the only way out.

    Like

  23. NesQuarX says:

    G is S.
    The world is the universe.
    I want the universe and just get the world and the knowledge that the universe, which is the world, also exists elsewhere in another form…

    Frankly, it's not satisfactory. But as I said, it's just an opinion. I can't hate you for having multiple accounts, neither will I applaud it. (Damn, I made myself sound like an ultimate judge or something 😛 )

    By the way, I think G is merely a subset of S. But a discussion on that will soon end up in a debate of semantics where formal logic regularly breaks down. It's just how your personal/social/virtual interaction system works – your solution may be the more convenient, though perhaps not the most commendable.

    P.S. sorry, I wrote 'facade' where 'facet' would have been closer to what I meant… (Damn you words!)

    Like

  24. Guria says:

    @nesquarx: The distinction between G and S is completely in your head, not mine, so, I can't help it… Since I know what I am talking about. The world remains the world even if I term it as earth.
    And frankly, that I do have multiple accounts wouldn't have been a common knowledge if it were true.
    I have my reasons and that doesn't have anything to do with a perfect, satisfactory-to-all decision.
    I do have facets but they don't appear or disappear with names. Having and maintaining two personalities/persona… seriously, I have better things to do in life than riddle with people I know only virtually.

    @silcador: You got it exactly! This also seemed the ONLY way out and not the best way out as people deign to think.
    And I find it funny, that when the issue is over a simple name, how does one even know that the 'character' presented (in this virtual-friendship) is not a fake just because a person uses his/her real name! 😀

    Like

  25. NesQuarX says:

    Precisely (:

    That you do have your reasons is the main driver behind this discussion isn't it?

    Your statements stand. I have nothing to disagree with in them.

    The distinction IS in my head… me being a reader of Maverick Misfit and a member of facebook. The fact that the distinction is there is what I intended to point out.

    Like

  26. Guria says:

    @nesquarx: Thank you for that. Being a reader of this blog (an honour for me at that) and member of Facebook, you still wouldn't have known the difference had I not shared this post. :))

    Like

  27. NesQuarX says:

    That's something I'd not exactly agree about. Since I'd noted the difference quite a while back. (Now I'm putting myself up as a snoop.)

    Oh, and being a reader, the pleasure is mostly mine, I assure you.

    Like

  28. Guria says:

    @nesqurax: That's interesting that you found a (the) difference. I guess, I don't know who I am, after all! 😀

    Like

  29. NesQuarX says:

    I just meant the difference in accounts, not personalities, as I never did have the scope of analyzing them firsthand… I'm sure you know the best who you are.

    Like

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