Catharsis Part-VII: Resolute and Firm

Now I don’t blog for the sake of blogging but rather writing. Using a pen and a paper, scratching out here and there really doesn’t bode well with my perfectionist approach. So, typing it is and that too in a place where people can read me and rave about me later as a living room topic albeit virtual.
But then I am lying, I also blog for the sake of blogging. Like my blog seems to cry like an unwanted orphan or a neglected child or even a spoiled brat when I do not pay him his due attention. Now I know its all in the head, but what can you do, even my blog did come from my head only.

Actually it is nice to have people read you, and letting you know that they read you. I used to think I was above it, you know, being great and genius and all… but alas, I have a long way to go. I am just another normal, one of the grind, out of the woodwork blogger. I get happy when I get another follower, better when I get another reader who actually reads! I don’t always reply to all the comments, how hard I try to change the fact, but sometimes I just can’t, then it becomes too late and I don’t bother… but that haunts me really! I so enjoy inputs, constructive criticisms, one wouldn’t want to lose it all for the lack of interaction on self’s part, isn’t it? Through all the ups and downs, the rush and the race to keep ahead, keeping readers enthralled, the triumphs and the disasters, living up to expectations and demands, blogging does make me a better writer, if not a better person.
So why suddenly talk about blogging? Because I realize it is one part of me that isn’t going to change.
I really had no idea how important this continuation, this fixture is in my life when I am out to change the look of my life. I am leaving my family behind, my fiancé and I will be in different cities a thousand miles apart, my best friends, my closest cousin will be getting married and I won’t be there, I won’t be seeing most of my friends. I am traveling to an entire different timeline, away from home, with my own apartment, to entirely fend for myself and really make something more of me (yeah, can’t ever stop challenging myself!).
It is not that I am resistant to change, after all it was of my choosing. It is just that the transition boggles.
Hence, blogging… the readers and friends and followers, they stay the same, they stay just where they were… be it my blog, their blogs, blog forums, contests, Facebook, Twitter or erm, Farmville… can’t really tell you how much I appreciate your presence in my life. You do keep me rooted…. Thank you.

N.B. I hope none of you entertained any dirty ideas, even momentarily, by reading the title of the post. Sheesh! 
Posted in Bloggers, Catharsis, Friends | 8 Comments

It’s Just Another Day For You

How many times do we have just another day?

Daily chores, old habits, monotonous tasks, forgotten jobs, procrastinated regrets, bitter minds, irritated mood, wake the mornings, sleep the nights, meals in between, for another tomorrow, another ‘just another day‘….

Whilst someone somewhere turns his life upside down…
And someone cries her heart out….

Someone gets tied in knots, speechless for lack of words….
A lack of words for words that were never expressed, a lack of words for the surge of feelings that were never defined….

A brave, unwavering smile that collapses just when you get out of sight, eyes that burn to see your sad smile, tears that are courageous so as not to fall before you, giant words that are empty but hold the world straight…

Yeah, we are stupid, we are fools, miss the fleeting, the flight of time… 
Indeed, we are fools, living life in moments, moments of happiness, pain and love…
Can’t wait for the time to pass, and then will suddenly want to rewind…
Oh, we are fools alright, fools in life, fools in love….

And oh so foolish, to be happy being a fool!

Oh, it’s just another day for you….
For me? I wish I could tell….
No, I am not sad, I just don’t know what I am…. 
Not today….
It’s a ‘just another day‘, a day like no other before…

Posted in Life, Love, You | 16 Comments

10-to-1 Funny Questions Tag

One of my dear friends who happens to be a blogger too, tagged me for this! Though she sounds like a death curse, she is a breath of fresh air in my life…. Thanks Avada Kedavra for tagging me. And do pardon my poor joke.

Ten how’s:

1. How did you get one of your scars? No scars… am not so lucky!
2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? With the people I love… there I’m lucky!
3. How are you feeling at this moment? Relieved.
4. How did your night go last night? Happy yet sad, rejuvenated though tired.
5. How did you do in high school? Not too bad
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? Mom had got it for me, a long while back
7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? Now and then 
8. How much money did you spend last month? LOL! Hordes!!
9. How old do you want to be when you get married? Old (read: Matured) enough
10. How old will you be at your next birthday? Just a year older 

Nine what’s:

1. Your mother’s name? That’s a password!
2. What did you do last weekend? Shopping, sleeping, dining, wining, celebrating.
3. What is the most important part of your life? Good health
4. What would you rather be doing? Be with T
5. What did you last cry over? Time
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Talking
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? No idea… am in love with the package
8. What are you worried about? Right now, nothing… 
9. What did you have for breakfast? Bread and tea

Eight Have you-s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Naah!
2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? I don’t think so.
3. Have you ever been out of the country? Yeah
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? There isn’t a day when I don’t
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? Yes, a few times.. their loss tho’
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? Sigh! If only…..
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? LOL! you mean more immature than me? No!! Isn’t possible.
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? I have read upto 4 books in one day (with an average of 350-400 pages)

Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw? My grandmother
2. Who was the last person you texted? Yikes! I hate texting, I’d rather call.
3. Who was the last person you hung out with? My sister and T.
4. Who was the last person to call you? T.
5. Who did you last hug? My Mom
6. Who is the last person who texted you? Mom again.
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? T.

Six where’s:

1. Where does your best friend(s) live? In different cities, localities, at home
2. Where did you last go? To Dad’s office
3. Where did you last hang out? Pizza Hut
4. Where do you go to school? Calcutta, India
5. Where is your favorite place to be? with T.
6. Where did you sleep last night? LOL! In my bed. Before you ask- alone.

Five do’s:

1. Do you think anyone likes you? Just try and resist!
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? I am everything that one can possibly want to be!
3. Do you know the muffin man? Err… No.
4. Does the future scare you? Naah! 
5. Do your parents know about your blog? Oh yes! Just not the URL!

Four why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? It just happened
2. Why did you get into Blogging? To write.
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? My parents didn’t name me.
4. Why are you doing this survey? ‘Cause of Avada Kedavra and as I’m enjoying this slam book questionnaire (as if anyone else is interested)

Three if’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be? I already am psychic
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? I rather not make a mess of time reversal etc.
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? A speed-boat with a full tank.

Two would-you-ever’s:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? No.
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? Yes.

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now? Yes.

I tag the first ten people to comment. Do leave the link of your post in the comment section so that I have no chance of missing it! If you have already done it, still leave the link! 🙂

Posted in Tags | 12 Comments

Helpless

Have you ever felt the urge to bash some one’s head in and the feelings churning inside you, turbulent yet that you can do nothing about and just watch impotently as the person you love gets hurt time after time?

Have you ever felt the need to avenge, to protect… and the need of it a boiling rage inside that would destroy you if you didn’t act upon it. As if your love becomes a failure when you fail to protect, have nothing to do, can do nothing, it’s your position to do nothing!

To hell with logic, rationalism, reason, I feel like hitting out, hitting hard but all the while knowing I can’t do a damn effing thing about it!

It hurts when the person you love is hurt. It hurts worse when you can only watch from afar and cannot do one damn single thing.

I would have cried, shed tear after tear, if I could have relieved you of your pain. But I won’t because you have to be brave. And I can make sure, you don’t have to be brave alone, right?

I am right here, helpless and futile, but I am still here in any way that you need me.

Love you. Loads. Your pain is mine.
Posted in Love, People and Relationships, Philosophy | 12 Comments

Away in India

DISCLAIMER: My opinions and observations are presented here. No one has to agree, disagree, this is not personal to anyone and not meant to offend either. If you are an Indian (ex-, once upon a time, right now, always, Never have been!, Just for now, Purrlease!, If only i wasn’t.., No way!, etc) who has a great time enumerating the reasons why this country has no future, please do NOT read as you don’t need to know my opinions or I, yours. Any hurt sentiments and bruised ego, it is the reader’s responsibility, the author takes none. Obviously.



Going abroad is no big deal! For travelling, or for studying or a job, it is a simple job of filling out an application and waiting for its results, very much like what you would do back at home. It is one of the perks of Globalization, every place on earth is a one-stop journey. 

Everyone has a someone who stays in the US of A- the brother of our maid’s daughter-in-law, my aunt, my best friend’s cousins, my brother’s friends, my sister’s friend’s parents, my boyfriend’s class-mates, my cousins… Gosh, the list’s endless! But still, one has to travel there like no one else has done it before. And come back to erstwhile home for the holidays and compare, giggle and wonder at the amazing ‘things’ that happen here ‘Oh my goodness!” as if you hadn’t seen them all your life, treating them like you would treat a naughty toddler.

Every person on this planet as much as is ruled by culture, upbringing, country of citizenship (read: lifestyle), I believe each one has a unique personality that would have been optimally the same wherever they might be. So every country, every community, every society has their share of the good and the bad in equal proportions even if the shades and kinds different. 

I had once written a BAT-winning post that had come from my heart, a compilation of scattered events and my own thoughts fictionalized. At the same point of time I had been preparing abroad for my doctorate. Why is it thought that going abroad is synonymous with not loving your country or who you are? The only two options that I came up with are-
1) You are dumb, not to mention, narrow and closed-minded.
2) You wish you had been in that position of renouncing your country.
Pardon me if I am rude, but this is what I saw. 

Some people I had called friends baffle me. They have lived all their lives in India and they consider themselves foreigners to India. At least, they try. What they actually are I wonder. Going abroad for them is not about the job, the degree, it is about leaving the home you don’t want to call home, period. 

There are people who have issues with the country, that’s okay. But trying to be a non-Indian, and pro-whatever the best way out they take to prove their ‘faithfulness’ to the country they should have been born in is by bitching about the country they allegedly are not a part of. 

Sometimes people go somewhere, they fall in love with the place and want to make it that home. That’s a perfect sentiment, one that I understand. But how can you know, like a place, that you have not been to ever before and enumerate its attributes even before you have experienced, and compare! 

The reason why I write this is I cannot be an American just because I am in America (and I damn well can be there!). I will always be an Indian. But I will be so proudly. But even those who literally renounce their country to especially look down upon the people of their ex-country, they forget, that they will never be an American even if they hold a green card. They may enjoy the culture more; beer instead of chai, smokes instead of samosas, bread instead of rice, bottled water, nuclear families, free, uninhibited sex, fast, superior life and rave about it back in India (oh, they need to come back to show off their superiority) but if I can feel what an Indian at heart feels, they will cease to be our own too. 

But this country with all its flaws is like a warm, caring mother. She accepts back even the most prodigal of sons with wide arms even when they don’t deserve it. But I am more headstrong, bull-headed and unforgiving and would never accept them back or honour them as Indians. Kindly do not boast of the Indian wit or intelligence as your assets when you’d rather be an American. When you renounce, do renounce completely, the bad and the good, however few. 

And wherever I be, be it North America, Europe, Japan, Brazil, Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan or Pakistan, I will always be an Indian, first and foremost. And if you won’t be (that’s an individual choice, nothing wrong), don’t come back here to make a comparison chart to feed your own inflated idea about yourself.



N.B. Read the article on TIME magazine “My Own Private India” by Joel Stein. It was the reactions of my Indian friends to this article that brought on this post, who was all for the article, Guindians etc. forgetting that the slander he was heaping on, is his own while the person he was supporting will always look down his nose at him. You may quote the saying “When in Rome, do as Romans do”, but that statement is entirely applicable to tourists and not the ones who stay there for long periods of time. Because it otherwise asks you to forget who you actually are. Can you do that? Also read the rebuttal article by Rahul Parikh

Posted in India, Observer, People and Relationships, Sarcasm | 14 Comments

Wish

Do we always know what to wish for?

He always told me I was one of the blessed few who had the power of wishful thinking. A few blissful years after our marriage, I found out how strong.

There was a fire in our house. A simple oversight that built into an all-consuming rage of nature. My husband and I were trapped on two different floors. I was rescued first, the fire hadn’t spread to the lower floors yet. My husband was rescued from a charred floor above, just breathing, black and unrecognizable.

I had screamed. People were worrying about me for inhaling smoke when my husband was writhing in pain. I had fought away every doctor, every nurse attending to me to see him. I need to go to him. I need to be with himThere was nothing but darkness without him. 

The burns looked bad, but there was hope? His face was charred but his stomach wasn’t harmed. He might make it, they said.

He has to! He WILL!! 


I kept screaming. And then I had prayed.

I wished that he wouldn’t die.

And miraculously my wish came true. My power held true. He had been right. 

He will live, they said.

I had laid back in my bed next to his and smiled at my unconscious husband as I groped for his hand and held fast.

Wishes do come true. 


I closed my eyes to sleep. I was at peace.

He did live.

Only, we didn’t. Me, and our unborn child. 

Alone in a wheelchair, he curses me even today.

If you could wish again, would you still wish for the same?

Posted in Creations, Life, Novelette, Observer, Philosophy | 17 Comments

Draupadi: The Blame

The war of Kurukshestra, the clash of the mighty Kauravas and invincible Pandavas creating the epic called Mahabharata happened because of a woman called Draupadi.
 

Wife to the Panadavas, daughter of Draupad, twin to Dhristadyumna, Draupadi was the leading lady of Mahabharata. And as the “adage” goes, “the great war of Kurukshetra was fought over a woman“.

After suffering humiliation in the hands of his spurned childhood friend Drona, Draupad, a Maharathi and a king had carried out an yagna for birthing a son who would be destined to kill Dronacharya, thus fulfilling his revenge. In that same yagna, he got a daughter who was named Krishnaa for her dark complexion. Even draupadi
if she wasn’t unwanted, Krishnaa wasn’t a child that the Panchal-raj had wanted.
 
The entry of Draupadi in the Kurus clan occurred with the Swayamvara, the bride’s self-choice marriage ceremony. The kings of countries far and near had come to win the hand of Panchali (daughter of the king of Panchal). The contest was simple- hit the eye of the revolving fish above by looking at its reflection. But the contest proved too much for most, some couldn’t even string the bow.
 
Duryodhana with his brothers and his closest friend Karna were also in attendance. The Pandavas were also present, but in the guise of Brahmins having recently escaped from the Jatugriha, the house of lac. 
 
Karna was an unparalleled warrior, the contest was child’s play for him. It would have been nothing for him, and the bride would have been his, if not for the bride herself. As Karna had been about to take aim, Panchali had called out saying, “I will not marry a soota putra (the son of a charioteer)!”
 
For us who know the story of Karna’s real lineage, of Karna’s valour and adherence to Dharma have no qualms in reprimanding Draupadi for her statement. But to the daughter of a king, a princess, to one who has heard of the wild tales, the whispers, was Draupadi wrong? Was the woman in her wrong? Wasn’t it to be her choice, her marriage? Karna was arrogant, he was proud, maybe it wasn’t something that appealed to the woman in her. No one her asked why, after all she is only a woman in the epic.
 
Arjuna, the third Pandava, had won the hand of the princess, and she had not cried out in protest even though he had done so as a poor Brahmin. She didn’t turn away, being the princess she was, even when the five brothers had took her on foot to their humble hut, ignorant of the real identity of her husband.
 
Then came the greatest upheaval in Draupadi’s life, when Kunti, the mother of the Pandavas had asked her sons to share between themselves whatever they had got, unaware that what they had got was a bride.
 
Draupadi married the five brothers, the sons of Kunti who could not disobey their mother’s words even if it applied to a woman. Did Draupadi protest. did the independent, brave and outspoken woman speak on her own behest? Did she return back home? She might have been spurned away but the Draupadi of Mahabharata we know, she was far more stronger than that. But it still didn’t matter, she was a woman in a great epic, made to do whatever she was told to.
 
Did Draupadi not enjoy being the queen of Yudhistira, the king of Indraprastha? Yes, she did. She was proud of it. But is it something to less to ask when she already was shared by the five brothers? But it came much later. As Draupadi had not set out to be the Queen when she had first married Arjuna, not knowing that he was actually a Pandava.


But if Draupadi could not be condemned for polyandry (it was Shiva’s boon, and curse, in her previous life that she will have five husbands), she had to be condemned for adultery. Imagination and speculation making a character colourful, and belittle the woman, Draupadi allegedly was in love with Karna. Indications of which do not appear in Mahabharata (Kashi Das/Kaliprasanna Singha). She probably had refused Karna on the urging of her brother, or even Lord Krishna, but there was no chronicle of her pining for Karna, even if Karna had pined for her. But then, so had Duryodhana. With no one to judge the veracity, condemned guilty for a wayward perception only, It was just another notch against her womanhood. The blame surfaced again. No woman could be powerful and virtuous, and left alone as such.
 
Draupadi became the queen of the Pandavas. The underlying jealousy and envy towards the Pandavas became even more pronounced with it. It was the envy towards a man with a beautiful, dynamic wife. But Draupadi was never just an ornamental wife to the five brothers. A princess by bearing and birth she was the ideal wife and woman who took it upon her the hardships and tribulations that came with her place in the Kuru clan. 
 
Draupadi had fallen on her way to Heavens when she with the five brothers had started towards the end of their journey. Yudhisthira, the son of Dharma, the eldest Pandava had said it was because Draupadi had always been partial towards Arjuna in her heart of hearts. Again, Draupadi had been condemned and held in contempt in the tale of the warriors as no one ever bothered to think of the woman’s heart. A wife belonging to five men – how could it be expected that the woman in her will be impartial to all of them. It is not simple enough to be shared, but to set aside pieces of the heart for her five husbands equally, is it possible for even the greatest of characters in history?
 
But the irony was Draupadi was partial to that man, whom she never had completely. Arjuna wasn’t a man who was satisfied with one wife. Even knowing Draupadi’s possessive nature and obsessive love for him, Arjuna’s wife in the truest form had been Subhadra, sister to Lord Krishna, mother of Abhimanyu. Yudhisthira in Draupadi’s opinion was weak and a servant to the vice of gambling. She could never turn to him in her time of need. Bheema, the second brother was Draupadi’s solace and saviour. It happened when the Panadavas had to spend the final year of their exile unidentified. It happened in Virata’s palace when Keechaka, the commander of Virata’s troops happened to chance upon Queen Sudheshna’s maid, Sairandhri, Draupadi in disguise. Suffering humiliation and affront in the hands of Keechaka, whose advances the married Sairandhri had rejected over and over again, she had begged for justice in front of Virata and Kanka (Yudhisthira skilled as dice caster) but they had failed her. But what had hurt Draupadi was her husband, Yudhisthira who witnessed her humiliation but refrained from avenging it. And Draupadi had done what any woman would do, she had gone to that husband she knew who cared enough about her honour- Bheema. It was Bheema disguised as Ballava, the palace cook, who killed Keechaka for humiliating Draupadi who had been living in his terror. Draupadi indeed had used Bheema’s temper and outrage to her own ends but as the woman she did what she had to to protect her virtue, her honor when she had suffered the insult of having another husband turn a blind eye to her misfortune. 
 
Even with her varied but not unwarranted opinions of her husbands, Draupadi had never turned away from any of them and had been an equal wife to them all, in luxury, in adversity, in gains and in losses.
 
But the blame, the final blame for the great war, the clash between brothers, the Kauravas and Panadavas, the near extinction of the Kuru clan lay on the shoulders of Panchali.
 
Being lost over a game of dice by her gambling husband, dragged out by her tresses in a single piece of clothing into the court of men by Duhshasana, insinuated and motioned by Duryodhana to sit on his lap, and finally tried being stripped off of her clothing in front of everyone, elders who stayed silent, husbands who stood with their heads hung, it was Draupadi’s “actions” that brought about the downfall of the clan.
 
It was not Duhshasana’s actions of dragging his sister-in-law and forcibly trying to unclothe her in court that brought about their deaths, it wasn’t Duryodhana and Karna’s taunts on Draupadi that sealed their fate, it wasn’t Yudhisthira’s gambling with the treacherous Shakuni where he had the audacity to wager his wife after he had wagered himself (along with his brothers) and lost, it wasn’t Dhritarashtra, father to Kauravas who cheered and rejoiced when Shakuni won wager after wager, it surely wasn’t Drona or Bhisma, the elders who did nothing throughout the humiliation of Draupadi that had only one culmination, the one that ended with war.
 
It wasn’t the men’s lust, their greed, their animal-like proclivity that was the reason of Kurukshetra. It was Draupadi’s fault. It was her fault as she was a woman, a powerful and a coveted one. Where was the Dharma, the righteousness here? Of Yudhisthira, of Karna, of Bhisma, Drona, Kripa or Dhritarashtra? Where was the justice?
 
When Bheema had broken Duryodhana’s thighs in the duel, Lord Krishna was faulted for reminding Bheema of his vow (after Duryodhana had gestured to Draupadi to sit on his lap) by patting his own thighs; Bheema was called unworthy by Balarama, teachers to both Bheema and Duryodhana over the same act. Where was this code of ethics, this adherence to righteousness when Draupadi was dishonoured? Yudhisthira, the Dharma putra, had to envision hell for his one small lie to Dronacharya about the death of Ashwatthama, the elephant, how come he wasn’t condemned to the same after he had subjected his own wife to suffer and be shamed and dishonoured?
 
But in a tale of great warriors, who is an insignificant woman?
 
Draupadi lost all her sons, her father, her brother but she was to blame for the massacre. After all she allowed herself to be humiliated and the war had to be fought.
 
At her birth, it was prophesied that she will be the cause for the end of the Kshatriyas, the fall of the great Kauravas. And so she was.
 
The blame is not with the Kauravas, not with the Pandavas, not with the elders of the court; it was not a war fought of greed, of lust, of envy or of pride but of gender. The blame of the the great war of Kurukshetra, of Mahabharata lies with Draupadi, a woman because she was one. 
 
After all, it was easier, and there was no one else man enough to shoulder the burden and accept responsibility. 



N.B. BPL @ GingerChai Super 3 Topic by the Inscribe Tribe player/blogger. Unofficial, of course. 🙂 

Posted in India, Non-Fiction, Philosophy, Reviews | 44 Comments

Wish

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 12; the twelfth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

A day with her

After a long hectic week, and a lot of running around round the clock due to various reasons; and lack of sleep, I finally took a break today and decided to go to mum’s to catch up with her, have food made by her (nothing beats that, I realised it post marriage), meet my niece, sleep and back to in laws.

I reached mum’s place at around 10 in the morning. There along with usual faces, a smiling and most adorable face greeted me. Oh i had so forgotten how beautiful she is, for so far whenever I went to mum’s, she was sleeping most of the time, and today she was laughing, playing, making noise and welcoming me like she was waiting for me all along. With all tiredness gone, I start playing with her like a kid.

An hour passed in making different funny faces, cuddling, laughing and i realised all this while she was holding my index finger. She loves doing that. She will hold you so tight and with so much of warmth, that you don’t feel like leaving her and going away. I had to send some mails, so i started doing my work, with her lying next to me. Our princess started missing the attention, so she punched herself and started crying really loudly. I freaked out, but mum said it was one of her traits to grab attention, the same thing i did too as a kid. So again the whole attention is on her, the same playing, laughing and cuddling start.

Can anybody leave her and go if she holds you like this?

12:30, she becomes really restless, I am once again provided with another piece of information – it is her massage time and the lady who does it is late. Bhabhi, mum and i are trying hard now to make her smile and she is making all possible faces and throwing tantrums. The lady arrives ten minutes later, and madam is all ready to get pampered. I get really scared by looking at the way that lady is massaging her, and this girl is all silent, enjoying it thoroughly, giving a lazy smile once in a while, almost ready to sleep.

Mum warns me that she hates taking a bath. The moment water touches her body, the whole building knows that she is getting soaked in hot water, she is that loud.just before entering a bathroom, she gives me another smile, as i am following her all the way there. She has taken bath, without crying even once – first time ever. For two minutes, we all are wondering whether she did it purposely to prove these people wrong in front of me. Well at least that is what her smile conveyed. Ah you tend to think on these lines if you have a kid at home na; for that matter, anything is possible.

She goes off to sleep, so do I. She gets up at 4, I am still sleeping; so bhabhi leaves her in the other room. Madam is now missing her usual place where she plays everyday, and since I am sleeping there, bhabhi ignores her tantrums. She is making faces once again, looking all sad and helpless. Mum cannot see it and wakes me. She comes next to me now, and the usual playing and smiling start.

Another hour passes by, and I have to leave now. She is not leaving my hand. The moment i get up, she becomes all sad; when I sit and hold her hand, she plays, not smiling at all. I want to leave after seeing her smile once, but all in vain. Another half an hour passes like that and I finally manage to make her smile once – a small one though, but that is enough for me to leave from there all happy happy.

Now all I wish for is to see her soon. I am travelling and thinking – how wonderful it is to become a kid all over again. How I wish to get my innocence back, how I wish to become a child all over again, how I wish to spread the happiness all around me like she does by just smiling, how I wish to stay with her forever, how I wish that she should never grow up and remain like this forever.

But wishes do not come true always. In no time she will grow up, have her own life. And I may be writing the same post for her daughter too. I so wish to do that 🙂

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Posted in BAT, Contests, Guest Post, Happy, Heart, Love | 29 Comments

Things To Do

Make a checklist.
Tick them off.
Go shopping.
Dump them in bags.
Pack. Pack, pack!


Where are the papers?
Where’s the cash?
Take ’em, take ’em.
All documents
Rolled up and stashed.


Busy to and fro,
Meeting last minutes,
Arranging, rummaging,
Nothing forgotten,
All done.


And I am ready to go.


Then the furor
Comes to standstill.
And I see,
The time is gone
Without telling me.


And I forget to say,
Whatever I am
Is because of You.
I love You. I love you.
Before I fly away.

Posted in Creations, Me, People and Relationships, Verses | 12 Comments

SAGS: My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes

10 things I have done that my gender is not supposed to do…..

  1. I am not married even though I am on the wrong side of 21 (or is it 18?)
  2. I have pursued higher studies even after passing school to be a professional in my chosen field.
  3. I have a job, that is, I earn.
  4. I wear jeans with shirts/t-shirts more than I wear sarees/salwar-kameezes.
  5. I don’t know how to sew.
  6. I don’t cook.
  7. My parents and relatives (well, a few) were genuinely happy when I was born
  8. I have and give opinions.
  9. I am independent.
  10. Me, as a child (read: daughter) to my parents, is enough.

Okay, I was being sarcastic here. If you didn’t get it, don’t bother.

Some things, I believe, were not ‘a man’s thing’ or ‘a woman’s thing specifically but were made to be such. Other things that come with the genetic and emotional make-up and we do… that’s a different story altogether.

And that’s what this tag is about (even though the faint line of distinction have disappeared in some places)….

So, here’s the original tag. I have been tagged by Neha and Harini.



So as Sinners Against Gender Stereotypes (SAGS), ten un-feminine, pro-masculine things about me:
1. I talk cars and bikes better than many guys. Gadgets, too. And since I am a female, I insist on the pronoun ‘He’ for cars and bikes as opposed to the ‘She’, the men are adamant on using.

2. I hate watching serials, but will even watch the repeats on the sports channels. I am a football fanatic. I love action movies best, also scary movies and lots of gore.

3. I love the concept of cooking but cannot cook. I treat cooking as an art. Hence, I can cook only gourmet dishes, and not regular ones. Like a typical male chef?

4. The most un-ladylike proclivity I have (I try not to) is to swear any one’s head off and start fist-fights when I get irritated or some one/thing really irks me. Nothing to be proud of… publicly. But privately, now that’s a different story.

5. Till a certain age I refused to be acknowledged as a girl, would wear only shorts and T-shirts, no earrings so that people would actually mistake me for a cute looking boy. Chalk it up to the fact that I was the first girl to be born in the family after a long time and all my older brothers’ influence.

6. I never played with dolls.The first time I was ever presented with one, (at that time the height of the doll was equal to mine) I broke of it’s leg and went to bat with it.

7. The thing is I still love to climb up poles and trees, and anything tall and sturdy enough. But that makes me more of a monkey than just the opposite gender.

8. I did play cricket but the point is included here as even today, I play that sport better than a lot of men. Football, I am not so good but I can still hold my own. Badminton, tennis, table-tennis, not thought so much to be a man’s sport is it? So, not included here.

9. I still belong to an all-boys group. Actually, most of the them forget half the time that I am a girl. I get along better with them, as I understand how they think better, thanks to my childhood spent with my brothers and their hoodlum friends. Of course, this is applicable only when there are no crushes involved.

10. I hate anything to do with fashion. I love to dress well, but not to shop or follow trends. I, literally hate shopping. A few, infalliable items in my wardrobe suffice. Oh, and I loathe the colour pink!

Now to tag 12 people.… I have chosen 12 people who, according to me, will have very interesting 10 (if not more) things to tell us – AD, Vipul, Karthik, Sammy, Nesquarx, Niveditha, Yellow Tulip, Vidhu, HaRy, Sree, Sid, The Fool.

And as it, you have to tag twelve people too after completing this… Or else you will be cursed to wear blue clothes pants if you are a woman and pink shirts, if you are a man – for next twelve years!!!


Posted in Laughs, Me, Sarcasm, Tags | 16 Comments