I mean I have always imagined being in an entirely separate continent as the same as being in different cities. In its simplicity, time zones notwithstanding, you just don’t get to see the person everyday.
And in its all simplicity, we humans forget to be that- simple.
When we live in different cities but the same country, we never need to call, never need to see. And add a few thousand miles to the existing hundreds, you feel you are so away from all those you love, the need to see, to talk, to be, increases manifold. Why is this so different? Is it the subconscious that says, being in the same country, different places lets you get away with the sense of security- I can hop on a train/plane whenever I want, and just zoom back home. Whilst being a thousand miles apart tells you, my whims will get lost in the labyrinth of practical trivialities like money, time and the over-powering distance.
Take for instance, my oldest and my best friend for the longest time, our busy lives never let us meet up even when we were in the same city for more than a year! Though that time was indeed interspersed with short phone calls, I never knew of the turmoil she was going through. But now that I was back home for a few weeks, she set aside all her plans, her sabbatical from the cruelties of life to be with me. For every day she could. And now from across oceans, I am more connected to her- pushing her, prodding her, lending a shoulder, a ear and simply, being there for for her.
Isn’t it weird? When we have the means, we never need them. When we don’t have the means, when all the ways in and all the ways out are all but restricted, we need, we yearn, we reach out for all that we didn’t when we could.
But to people who we love and have never seen, the constancy in a world that remains unchanged whether you log in from one country or another, you repeat the same mistake from the lesson you never seem to learn. Sometimes the lines are so blurry, and you miss where the virtual overlaps with the real, and the real actually is non-existent.
You could deal with the anger, but not with the hurt. You could try logic but what when the love itself is illogical? You could will the person to understand but you’d know that you wouldn’t have if it were you, even if you had tried to.
It is something about people, something about relationships, it’s something about loving. About belonging and caring. It comes with responsibilities that we forget. That which we sometimes choose to set aside in times of trouble, trying to prioritize and failing.
But at the end of the day, when you almost come to losing the love you know is irreplaceable, you wake up to tears from your own eyes. Why is it we forget what we have? Why is it we never value something till it is no more? Why do we hurt, when all we wanted to was love?
Why do we never grow up? Never learn?
Sometimes even an apology dripping with shared pain, is not enough.

About Guria

An Artist in Science: A Misfit 'cause I choose to be one. "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform" And a Maverick, because, I'm... umm... brilliant?
This entry was posted in Heart, Love, Observer, The Other Side of the River and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Distance

  1. Makk says:

    I cant agree more on “relation between availability of resource to connect & connection with person”


  2. Guria says:

    @Makk: And there you put it in lesser words and way more realistically. Perfect.


  3. Shrikant says:

    So true… We tend to take certain relationships for granted… “They're just a phone call away”

    But.. “Nothing is real till its gone” is what we realise!!!


  4. Bikramjit says:

    I dont know why we cant pick that phone and say HELLO.

    and when we are apart or things go wrong we delve on it for ages ..

    Pity when distance comes in between.. adn we say world hase become a smaller place ..



  5. Neha says:

    Love is never logical..feelings ain't logical..we don't even realize sometimes what someone means to us..you realize the effect that person has on you when a single line written by him/her makes you cry. again and again. whenever you read it..it's strange, impractical, unreal, almost impossible; still existent!


  6. Kunal says:

    Sometimes, we realize the importance of someone or somethings, only when, we lose them/seem to lose them in the myriads of life…

    We need to be more humane, more aware 🙂



  7. Someone told me this recently, “The moment you communicate your upset, the upset loses power. The distance disappears and the experience of love returns.” While I was still analyzing how true it was. I was further told, “You have to get this that logic is something which love only can modify; love creates its own logic, so its own logic always justifies it, i.e., love.” Mangled, but true. 🙂

    PS: Shit, I have been missing a while, now from Twitter, Blogger, and everywhere, damn me. Oh, and surprisingly, as a trivial fact, I am almost obsessed with starting my posts, my sentences, with “I mean…” 😛


  8. Nethra says:

    We, mostly, want what we don't have and ignore what we have. Al most everyone is like that.


  9. Guria says:

    But I'd hate it if it were lines by me that would make you cry…..


  10. Guria says:

    Yet it would be so much simpler to learn from all these mistakes we make… if not from others' but from the ones we ourselves make….


  11. Neha says:

    your absence makes me cry. your presence does the same. it's strange. I hate it when you are hurt. I feel helpless when I can't be there with you.


  12. Guria says:

    I wouldn't mind my presence make you cry, if those tears can cleanse you of the pains,all the strife that yu choose to undertake all alone…. I pain not being there with you too


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