This post has been published by me as a team member of Inscribe Tribes for the “Super 6″ round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event of blog world. To catch the BPL action and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai
She had always wanted a girl. But nothing could have prepared her for the surge of feelings that imploded in her when her husband had placed that small bundle in her arms for the first time. The perfect pink face scrunched up as she wailed, the tiny little toes, the little fingers curled up in a fist and the shock of black hair on her head – Laura had never seen anything so beautiful. And to think that beautiful creature had come from her… Laura was unaware of the tears streaming down her face even as she laughed and smiled at her little daughter.
But like an incandescent flare that burns brightly only to burn itself out, her all-consuming happiness burned, shrivelled and turned to ashes.
Just a bunch of teenagers broke a traffic signal and Laura’s life changed. Her husband and 2-week old daughter were gone in a heartbeat leaving her wounded, scarred to mourn.
The only other miraculous survivor of the wreck was her 2-week old son. The other twin.
He planned to get enlisted. And he wasn’t to be deterred or swayed. Turning a deaf ear to his family’s pleas and reprimands alike, Sam walked out.
Marianne caught up with him on the sweeping marble stairs. Yanking him by his arm, she forced him around and snarled into his face, “It’s about Laura, isn’t it?”
He looked at her with little regret, calmly removed her hand and turned away.
‘I pity you, Sam… I pity you and your obsession with your mother! You never did grow up… you never did learn!” Marianne called out softly to his back.
“You can break off the engagement then, Mari… I won’t hold you to it.” Without looking back, Sam continued across the huge lawns and eventually disappeared behind the huge oaks.
Marianne could only gape; transfixed, numbed.
Having never known her own mother, she wasn’t the best judge but still she wondered, “What else can having a mother who doesn’t love you do to you?”
It was Sam’s last weekend at home. He was busy with his last-minute arrangements. There was nothing much left to pack, but much to arrange for the plantation, his plantation, while he was away… and if he never came back.
A discreet knock sounded on the door. His mother entered. At a little over forty, she looked much older but with the hauteur and pride that befitted the dowager of Ridgelow Plantation. Her once-acclaimed beauty and vitality were now mere chapters of a happier and forgotten history, Sam thought with a pang.
“Hello, Mother. You needed me?”
She didn’t say anything right away but calmly surveyed her son’s sparse room.
“So you really are going to go through this farce.”
Sam’s lips tightened. “I am joining the Army, Mother. I’d barely call that a farce.”
She let that pass. “Nothing anyone can say will change your mind, is that it?”
“Do you want me to change my mind, Mother?”
“Of course, I do! Who will look after this plantation, your legacy? I want you to stay, marry well and look after your inheritance.”
Sam smiled, with a tired, rueful shake of head, “You have to do better than that.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about… What can be a better reason than that? Fine, then stay for Marianne’s sake, Samuel.”
Sam laughed, “I think she can do better than a loveless, arranged marriage.”
“I don’t know what you want, Samuel! Do whatever you wish, I won’t stop you!” Laura remarked coldly as she strode out.
Sam watched the door close behind her, the pain now an old friend. “If only you understood, Mother.”
“I just wanted to let you know, the train was on time and we stayed till it pulled out.”
Marianne sipped on her wine seated opposite to the woman who could have been her mother-in-law. In another lifetime.
“Thank you, Marianne… I see you are not wearing your ring anymore.” Laura observed.
“I didn’t, Laura, if that’s what you are thinking. Your son did.” Marianne said with bitter laugh.
“I don’t think he cares if he comes back or not…” she added quietly.
A heavy silence descended.
When suddenly Marianne broke out, “Would it have been so difficult for you to ask Sam to stay back?”
“What?! I did…”
“No, Laura, asking your Son to stay back?” she cried. “For you, and not the estate? Is it too much to want your mother to love you?
“I lost! I lost my love because you couldn’t love your own son, the child who lived, all for the memory of a dead one!”
“I’ll never forgive you, Laura. Neither will God… Never!” Her voice dissolved into tears.
Laura stood up and walked away towards the tall windows. The only sounds in the room were of Marianne’s heart-wrenching sobs.
“After the… that… that fateful day, I would stand by Sam’s crib, scared to touch him. I’d stare at him all night, a silent vigil, afraid that he might stop breathing. I wouldn’t hug him, never played with him, never allowed him near me… But I’d watch from afar.
“I couldn’t have lived if I lost, again. To me there was no choice… To protect myself from another heartbreak… I had to refuse him, refuse loving him.
“I can’t change a thing, Marianne. I wish I could but I can’t. It’s not left in me.”
She turned to face Marianne, almost pleadingly, eyes shining with naked pain and said in a cracked voice, “But to the woman who loved Sam, who loved him best… please understand, Marianne… I can’t turn back time, I wouldn’t change a thing, probably never will… but I loved my son, I loved him till my heart felt it would burst with it… I didn’t want him to go…
“But I couldn’t tell him, Marianne… I couldn’t!”
Marianne could only stare as the arrogant, cold and formidable woman dropped to her knees in front of her, and wept inconsolably.
Word Count: 997 (Whew!)
|Winner of The Tragic Love Story Category at Cafe Ginger Chai|
You are really one of the best narrators i have come across. As always, I loved it! And as i once said before – You are one my favorite story writers :).
I was moved! 🙂
Been here for the first time. U write so well. Hats off!
Hey thats a wonderful tragic tale… Absolutely loved reading it.. 🙂
All the best for BPL..:)
beautifully written. i loved the narration and the way it held my attention right from start to end. all the best!
And there are some who won't commit suicide because they see her mother's crying face in front of the train…
Tragic love story, you too? Didn't know I'd be locking horns with you in the first round itself, the toughest contender. 🙂
Perfect execution of the topic. A very sad tale indeed.
The dialogues seemed so real.
Not your best, G. But loved the presentation as usual. :))
All the best!
u r some writer arent u? I just love the way u narrate a story… excellent… keep them coming and all the best for the BPL…
really good…………life isn't fair…..well if it is…then you must be living a Cinderella story ……..
i thought, it's easier for women to come out with their love….express their emotions……but this does tell……it's not easy for any one out ther………
it was a great read….. 🙂
Kire ebar ki bolbi ? eito reactions er suru re, er por dekh kirom rave reviews pas…
boley post ta naki bajey 🙂
BTW Tui tokari korlam bole kichu money koro naa please… eta amar bod sobhaber modhey onnotomo 🙂
can I judge this competition please and make u the winner? 😛
Loved the narration, the pace and the climax..so well executed..
Oh!! Truly tragic!!
And very moving too.
Awesome ko Hindi mein kya bolte hey? Bangali mein? jo bhi hey, its simply that!! 🙂
The tragedy with these characters, apart from the accident wala tragedy is that they couldnt just hold on to or let go of their emotions..useful or not!
All the best tribesmate! 🙂
I think the highlight of this post are the expressions used to highlight the protagonists state of mind. Somewhere somehow – they just fit right…and sound right. With such a flow I am sure keeping it within 1000 would ve been a real tough ask. Good job mate.Inscribed.
A tragic tale… wonderfully narrated. Take a bow 🙂
P.S. All the Best for the contest…
It has come out excellently.
Wow, I always knew The Inscribe Tribe's literature expert is going great! Now, we all have it here for everyone to see, a very good post! 🙂
As I have told in my story that will be contesting with this one, “Tragedy of life isn't death but what we let die inside of us while we live”.
Nice story. You got some real writing skills. 🙂
I really loved : “He looked at her with little regret and calmly removed her hand and turned away.” there is so much said in this sentence…so much emotions!!!Soooo good to have u in my team…:))
Hey .. what happened to this post.. on my monitor is is coming very differently.. i cant read th elines actually.. what shall i do?
very emotional one…
and loved the narration …
What stood part are the matured presentation and the balanced narration of emotions.
It is very captivating to read, but only in parts.
Though it has got some intriguing lines , the comprehensive impact is missing.
All the best buddy 🙂 🙂 🙂
i was the first to read and i loved it word for word
I'm a first-time visitor and I'm hooked. Great storytelling!
LOved the narration 🙂 touching,,,,,
Your blog is cool. To gain more visitors to your blog submit your posts at indli.com
Well done. I loved the narration
Best wishes to you
——To The Inscribe Tribers——
This story, good and bad, was possible because of you guys, your advice, support and your confidence in me. This is the best team we have! 🙂
@Niveditha: Thanks, dear! Imoved, you shocked! 😉 😀
@Dhiman: ROFL… Yeah, so your “speechless” was not the utterly-disgusted-hence-lost-for-words then?! 😀
@Sree: The Bollywood-y master! Thanks and All the Best to all of Us!! :))
@GB: Thanks for your insights, and your vote of confidence! Thanks! And Good job, you too… 😉
@The Fool: A lot of the manipulations, the good kind, helped me, your insights were very valuable. Thank you so much for that! 🙂
@Arif: Lit expert, so said the maktion! You are the techie expert, and how! Thanks and Kudos too! :))
@Pushpee: I knew this was your favourite… by the way, did you see I took your advice? It turned out better actually! The other twin… Thank you so much! 🙂
Cheers and Luck!
Yet another eagle,
@Harini: That is an honour I hope to live up to. Thanks you dear. =)
@Maryum: Welcome to MM! hope you enjoy more n more. And thanks! =)
@sushobhan: Thanks a lott. And thanks for the follow! =)
@Mehak: Thank you dear. Glad you liked it. =)
@RSV: It was because he didn't think there would be his mother's crying face. And he wasn't committing suicide, he just wouldn't try hard at staying alive! 🙂
@Karthik: And so said the best! 😀
I know it's not one of my bests, after all, let's not increase the bar every time! 😀
Thanks, K! Your words are always cherished, you know! =)
@Tavish: Thank you! Coming from sucha good writer as yourself, Wow! :))
@hitesh: You understood it perfectly! A Writers' dream! Thanks for that, and for enjoying! 🙂
@Neha: Love ya'!
@Shilpa Garg: Thank you! =)
@Roshmi: Thanks so much dear! =)
@Nethra: thank you and you are not half as bad either! :))
@Rajlakshmi: Thank you girl! 🙂
@Mahesh: Actually there's not much drama, it is a day-to-day, common tragedy, I guess that's what made the difference! And thanks for the luck! 🙂
@AD: Yes, you actually were one of the firsts! 😀
And your insights are always valued, and helped me refine exactly the emotions that I wanted to portray! Thank you soo much! 🙂
@stargazerpuj: Welcome! And do come back again and again! :))
@ANURADHA: Thank you! 🙂
@tikulicious: aww, coming from you, it's an honour! thanks a tonne! =))
A mother who is living in the past and cannot love her son…so tragic.
You have brought out the fragility of the son's emotions quite well.
It was really awesome (as usual) 🙂 nobody can you beat you at story telling.. you are my fav 🙂 But like Karthik said, this was not your best. I felt you could have done justice to the ending. But I guess the word limit was the hindering factor. But still it was good 🙂
I never read the tragic stories, because of my teeny weeny heart u see… But loved the way u have narrated and executed this one Guria:)
First time here for a story .. cya soon:)