#1 The Betrayal

This is the first in the Series of the Guest Posts that are coming up. Neha is my first guest blogger, and we have a bet going on, whose details I cannot divulge but can only say, it will be the outcome of the reactions of the readers of this post, and the consequences are going to make the difference. And you know Neha, I’m going to win this one, hands down. About Neha: She is girl who tries her best to be rude but has a heart of gold, a writer who doesn’t believe she is good enough, who is insightful and a good judge (err, she is a lawyer, tho’). And most of all, she is a beautiful blogger and a sassy blogger and a great friend! Love ya, girl! G.


“Ma, I want to have curd-rice. Can you make it for me?” Shekhar asked me.


He had spoken with me after almost three months. I couldn’t hide my tears; tears I had controlled for a long time, tears that were always there, but never came out in front of my only son, who for a long time was my sole support system. My husband had died when Shekhar was three months old. I brought him up alone; fighting with loneliness, helplessness and poverty. His only goal in life was to complete his studies and start working so that I could retire at the earliest. I was the most important person for him; until Aditi entered in his life, rather, in our lives.

—xxxx—



A girl with so much of confidence, intelligence, persona and liveliness; she instantly made Shekhar fall in love with her. Shekhar now spent more time with her, coming home late and increasing my worries and loneliness. Maybe it was a mother’s possessiveness, or a jealous heart that couldn’t see her son loving another lady, or very strong instinct; I didn’t like Aditi a bit the moment I saw her. She was a pretty girl, but something about her was disturbing. I tried to convey this to Shekhar, but he was blinded by love he got from her any person would die for at his age.


The bond between Shekhar and I was not like before; for we hardly ever spoke about anything. Shekhar was enjoying the company of an equal more than this old lady who disapproved of Aditi. After showing my concern a few times, I stopped doing so with the fear of losing my son forever. To win my son back, I started pretending that I have indeed started liking Aditi after her last visit to me on my birthday.


That evening, Shekhar was very happy, as Aditi had assured him that she would soon take him to her parents. But her eyes conveyed something else; there was some kind of coldness in her eyes that Shekhar had failed to notice. Her eyes left me frightened that evening, but my fear of losing my son was much stronger than my gut feeling about another woman. Dinner that night was a very awkward affair for me, sitting in between Shekhar and Aditi; I felt like an intruder on the dinner table in my own house.


Many days passed; with no sign of any meeting happening between Shekhar and Aditi’s family. I was somewhere praying that Aditi’s family rejects Shekhar. My heart still had not accepted her; I still was not convinced about her, reasons best known to my heart.


One evening, Shekhar came home with bloodshot eyes and went to his room without talking to me. I ran behind him, but he had already shut the room door. He had inherited his father’s temper; it was best to leave him alone when he was upset or angry. A sleepless night passed by in the sitting room; waiting for him to come out to eat something or for some water; but the door remained shut.


Next morning, the morning after the next and so on, the days passed by without a single word from my son; I was dying to know the truth about what had happened to him. I thought about Aditi; maybe she was the reason behind Shekhar’s behavior. There was no way I could have found that out.

—xxxx—



I prepared the curd-rice I always made for my son whenever he was unwell. He always preferred me to feed him. I did feed him; tears couldn’t stop from my old eyes. He looked at me and told me that everything was over between him and Aditi. There was a smile playing on his lips, but he was not happy; and I did not have the guts to ask him the reason behind it. And the selfish mother was so very happy to see her son coming back in her life; and Aditi was out.

—xxxx—



One Year later:


Today is Shekhar’s first death anniversary. I still remember that day when he told me that Aditi was out of his life. I fed him with the curd-rice and he left for the office. He had given me a peck on my forehead that day before leaving. There was something strange about him; his behavior; but I had conveniently ignored it. He left that day and his dead body came back that evening.


People say that a woman is stronger than a man emotionally. But I am not proud of being strong if the meaning of it is to see my husband and son dying and asking me to fulfill their last wish – I have to lead a normal and happy life. How can it be possible if a mother discovers her son’s last letter that he left for her; but never told her what he had gone through in those three months after he had found out the naked truth about Aditi – the person he had loved more than his own mother.


Ma,


I am sorry. I have to leave you alone in this world and go. I know you are going to be all alone in this world after my death; but I don’t have any other option ma. I can’t bring myself to come to terms with this reality that Aditi betrayed me. She is already married ma, she is married to a guy who is of her father’s age. She married him for his money; and she pretended that she loved me to fulfill her other needs. She used me ma; and I thought she loved me. But I did love her, totally and truly.


I am not able to get her out of my mind. Every time I think about her – her smiling face, her voice, her eyes full of love for me – I lose myself completely. I hate this life ma, where she cannot be there. I can neither live with her nor live without her. I know you need me, but I am not as strong as you. You took the blow of father’s death; but you never had to face the betrayal. Father loved only you, he never had anybody else in his life; but the person I love, loves someone else. I cannot imagine her as someone else’s wife.


Ma, please promise me; you won’t end your life for your loser son. You won’t ever take this coward step that I have taken. Please forgive me for my shameful act.


Love you…


I wiped my tears. For me, life had brought me to the same point again.  My husband who had only ever loved  Prerna, committed suicide after three months of Prerna’s death, leaving me alone in this world to take care of their son. Prerna had died giving birth to my Shekhar.


And Shekhar died too; three months after he was betrayed by Aditi; leaving me alone all over again…

—xxxx—
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About Guria

An Artist in Science - I am a Misfit 'cause I choose to be one. "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform" And I am a Maverick, because, I'm... umm... brilliant?
This entry was posted in Guest Post, Novelette, People and Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to #1 The Betrayal

  1. Hey Neha, this was too awesome. So many twists and turns in the story 🙂 I liked the ending (the last para) the most. This is one of your BEST posts so far 🙂

    Like

  2. What a post Neha ! Loved it. A very good story …

    Like

  3. Ravan says:

    This one is nice…and sad one as well…:(

    Like

  4. Neha says:

    @ hey Avada, thanks buddy, I am glad you liked it..:) the last para took the most of our time – sreya helped me a lot there…thank u for making my day 😀

    @ Sid, thanks..I love sad stories 😛

    @ Madhu, really? oh thank u so much for the comment and compliment :))

    Like

  5. Neha says:

    ok, i am back here again…Guria did help me en :in the last para…there were two climax to the story, but she published my version 🙂

    Like

  6. aativas says:

    Nice story with lot of twists and turns. Enjoyed reading.

    Like

  7. soin says:

    usually girl written stories have either too godly characters or really saintly characters..its nice to see the middle ground here..free

    Like

  8. Very nice story.. and very well written.. gives the real feeling!!

    Like

  9. Ekam says:

    Hey Neha .. very well written yaar. Awesome. The end was totally unexpected. Very nice 🙂

    Like

  10. Makk says:

    Superb………..Just superbly knitted story line.

    Keep it up.

    Keep Smiling.

    Like

  11. Guria says:

    I still won't say a thing…

    Like

  12. Miss_Nobody says:

    Lovely!That was well ritten,liked the twist in the end!

    Like

  13. BK Chowla says:

    It is excellent and very beautifully written Was a bit emotional

    Like

  14. Neha says:

    @ aativas, thanks :))

    @ soin, huh; maybe you have come across only such kinda female fiction writers..in my stories you will usually see people dying..I somehow love to kill my character(s) all the time 😀 thanks…good to know you found this different than other stories 🙂

    @ the west wind, hey thanks buddy…I am glad you found this real :))

    @ Makk, after reading your superb comment, I will for sure keep smiling :))))))))
    thanks..

    @ Ekam, thanks buddy…I am glad you liked the climax…that took quite some time and arguments 😛

    Guria, you better keep ur “always talking biased things” lips sealed 😛

    Miss_Nobody, thanks buddy…I am glad you liked it :))

    Like

  15. HaRy!! says:

    team work from Neha and Guria eh? and Neha yet yu complain yu are bad at story telling 😀 ? ! Boy, yu are modest!

    Like

  16. Pesto Sauce says:

    Girls post….so boys stayed away

    Like

  17. its like a road with U turns and sharp turnings on a ghat road on a foggy morning…..
    loved the plot and the narration….
    well scripted and apt execution of climax…
    really enjoyed the reading :)….
    So, Neha-turned-novelist/writer ?????

    Like

  18. pRiYaN...! says:

    the narration was excellent !!! great start for this blog as Guest post !

    Like

  19. Roshmi Sinha says:

    A very nice and touching story… with a myraid of emotions. And lots of twists and turns…

    Like

  20. Neha says:

    @ Pesto Sauce, posts by girls, and not girl's post…I am sure u wanna know them more 😛 thanks 🙂

    @ BK Chowla, thank u sir..I am glad you liked it 🙂

    HaRy, I wrote this on Guria's blog, thus it has come out so well – dude, this is a baap of the modesty 😛
    thanks buddy…I am glad you liked the story :))

    Like

  21. Harini says:

    Great one Neha… The ending was so totally unpredictable.

    Like

  22. Neha says:

    @ Roshmi Sinha, thanks girl, I am glad you liked the story 🙂

    @ Harini, hey thank u girl..I was very unsure about the climax para..thanks for appreciating 🙂

    @ Priyan, thanks buddy..:))

    @ Mahesh, oh wow, what a comment yaar…thank u very much…that is indeed some compliment…now the day I have my book published, ur gift copy is confirmed 😛

    Like

  23. Rashmi says:

    I am spellbounded by this piece, really nice indeed.
    Wow i created a rhyme 😉

    Like

  24. zillionbig says:

    Hey, Its really nice. Nicely written and fast paced. Loved it, though touchy. TC

    Like

  25. Anamika. says:

    Omg, this was something that choked me deep inside. Very well written, Neha.

    Keep it going. Looking forward to the rest of the series. This one has raised the bar though. 🙂

    Like

  26. Neha says:

    @ Rashmi, thanks a lot dear for your wonderful rhyming comment :))

    @ ZB, :)))))
    thank u first for visiting and commenting on this post…you already know na how much your comment matters to me..
    oh I am so glad you liked this Guruji :))))

    @ Anamika, thanks a million dearie…you left me speechless with the comment and message both.. raised the bar – nah girl…there are fantabulous writers around…I was lucky enough to start first..now I won't have to worry about “what I should write now” problem :)))

    Like

  27. pawan says:

    I read the post without seeing who the writer was ( I knew it was a guest post, but all the way long I thought it was Shruti). But when I saw Neha's name up there, I knew that this story was a winner!

    Though I thought that the climax was a bit filmy, the crux of the story, the surrogate mother's character study was awesome!

    Loved the the last paragraph set of the story, which was raw yet tender.

    Good one Neha!

    Like

  28. Neha says:

    @ Pawan, thanks buddy…when a person who does not write fiction much is compared with the masters of fiction, then it is indeed a huge compliment 🙂

    winner? wow…thanks buddy, it sounds amazing..but let the other posts come na..we will know it all then..

    filmi climax – hmmm, that is the only way I can make my stories an interesting read…make them as much cliched as possible, then a non-fiction writer can be a winner 😛

    I am glad you liked the last para..thanks again buddy :)))

    Like

  29. pawan says:

    @ Neha: You are being modest (yes, i have read the above comments 😀 )

    Like

  30. Neha says:

    @ Pawan, damn, i already revealed my cards a bit earlier…lemme find the grandpa of modesty now and get back 😛

    Like

  31. Karthik says:

    Such an emotional story! Phew! I was choked. Nevertheless, it was a wonderful read. And Neha, that twist in the end: it was tremendous. Hadn't expected it. 🙂
    When it comes to your stories, I liked 'The Phone Call' more than this. But when it comes to narration, this is your best. 🙂
    Looking forward to read more. 🙂

    Like

  32. Neha says:

    @ Karthik, thanks buddy…

    my stories, my personal favourite is – The ultimate painting..i am sure Guria will second this; followed by couple of anecdotes…

    but this story will always remain very special as I have written it for one of the bloggers very close to my heart :))

    Like

  33. Guria says:

    Yup, 'The Ultimate Painting' made me fall in love with Neha (Neha the blog, you dolt)…. 😉
    And this story is special 'cause this is for MM… and the adjectives with both strive hard to be…..(Neha and I… of course, Neha the blogger err… lawyer)
    And the blogger very close to her heart?? Well, I know I am very close to Neha's (the lawyer) ears… to chew her head out all the time…. 😀

    P.S. Neha-the-beautiful-beautiful-girl, love ya', my dearest friend!
    G.:)

    Like

  34. Karthik says:

    Haa yes. The Ultimate Painting! The story of Roshni, right? That too was fabulous. 🙂
    Anyways, have you started writing your next story yet?
    Eagerly waiting…
    Nothing fascinates me more than stories, you see.
    Cheerios! 🙂

    Like

  35. Neha says:

    @ Karthik, no re…I can't think of good plots very often..too bad at it..once in a while good things come in my mind, and I jus write it down…:)))

    @ Guria dear, I will be away on a vacation na, so waiting for your post on my blog..:)

    Like

  36. Hi Neha! U were so spontaneous. Well written story. U sure are gonna win..

    Like

  37. Neha says:

    @ Priyadarshini, thanks for dropping by here..I am glad you liked the story..winner? well dear, there is no competition here..if at all there was, the better stories are on board than mine..:))

    Like

  38. Nethra says:

    Awesome plot with a surprising end. 🙂

    Like

  39. the end was fantastic… The tempo was well maintained. well done!

    I think therez too much sadness in this…

    Like

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