Love (and birthdays)

Posted on December 13, 2015 by Guria
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Distance means so little when someone means so much

“There is this girl that I love…”
Those were the first words that resonated in my mind as I looked at blinking cursor on the white screen, and I laughed even before I began typing… How many times have I started writing about you with these very words? As far as writers go, I am very unimaginative when it came to this certain lady of my life, and completely unrepentant about it. These were always the first words that would crowd my mind, with my eyes crinkling in a smile, every time I think of her, talk about her, pen down about her.

A traveler, a treasure trove of tongue-in-cheek witticisms, a writer, a lawyer, a friend, a shoulder and my very own pillar of strength, and a manifestation of, heretofore thought not possible, my ever increasing love – Neha. You do have the perfect name, you know- what else could you be, but ‘love’?

It is her birthday, and it has been a while since I wrote of her in here. But my baby twin, my soul-sister, needs to be here, resurrected from time to time for nothing but the most selfish reason… for me to be. And there’s no better day than today to tell you, I couldn’t be, if you weren’t.

Over long distances, with time-zones at loggerheads, between infinite years, and all the upheavals and mayhems, yours and mine… you, my love, are my constant. And such a beautiful and a wonderful one at that! Your dimpled smile and twinkling eyes that are apparent even over the badly pixelated Skype calls, through the wires and waves that connect our voices, or through the used and abused emoticons and dry letters in a small box at the corner of my starkly bright screen- all of them, all of you, sustain me.

Today, she wants a quiet day, going about her responsibilities (that she takes care of so magnificently), and to be remembered only by those who remember without any prodding. I don’t blame her, after all we are cut from the same cloth. But that doesn’t mean, I will let her! If she blocks Facebook, I am going to go more public, I am going on Twitter (agreed, my impact is much less there, but I am counting on hers!). But as she said, I could always tag her on my post on Facebook… I figured I’ll embarrass her further, and write a whole damn essay on her! Fight that.

I can’t leave you alone, ever, let alone on your birthday… And I am not wishing you any special happiness for the day, because that one thing is in my mind, and in my prayers, always, every day.

I love you, Neha… birthdays are wonderful, you know!

N.B. That picture of us… I am glad you sent a photo of it to me! ~G.

Posted in Love, Me, People and Relationships, Photography | Tagged , , , , , | 13 Comments

Castles in the Air

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Guria

You said “I will never let you go”
Moments before your hands slipped out of mine,
Moments after your beguiling smile,
The moment where all of my destiny rested,
When I was yet to learn the meaning of dying!
I believed you, and in your words,
The poetry and the light in your eyes,
Maybe it was foolish, but it was true
For I believed deeply, I believed in you!
Are we to part ways, walk away?
Never to cross paths, never to stay-
Like we never happened, like we never were?
The heart cries to hold on, the head’s angry and stubborn
But the eyes stare at the closed door, willing it to open.

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Unremembered

Posted on December 1, 2015 by Guria

There’s so much that’s left unsaid-
Of the million things that I want to say,
But the ridge looms, scary and impenetrable
The fear rules, large, unscalable and immovable.
Of forgotten promises and happier yesterdays
Of little skirmishes and your tender ways
Am I alone in remembering, in wanting?
For time to turn back, to the joys and laughing?
But you weren’t here, and I was alone
Left standing in the snow, staring,
Into the horizon, at the turn of the road,
Wondering how to travel back, how to reset.
But the dark evening took over the mild afternoon, and showed,
It was none but a beautiful lie, how can I have what never was mine!

Posted in Creations, Darkness, People and Relationships, Uncategorized, Verses | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Into Ashes

Posted on November 30, 2015 by Guria

Ugliness reared its head, stealthy
And victorious, smiling slyly
Over the dying causes, lost tidings of joy
With their holds, loosening, fading.
Bitterness triumphed every time,
As did the ego, that clashed in rhyme;
Promises fled, and shattered good wishes
As the anger grew, and threatened to give way.
The silk shackles hardened into iron-
The slow flame of heat began firing,
Like balls of cannon, for destroying
The unnamed but real; no room for crying!
Some had called it love, some called it passion and others, fools-
But all knew, that what was burning, were the immortal souls.

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Reprimere!

Posted on November 23, 2015 by Guria

Between the colored leaves of Fall,
And the snowflakes answering Winter’s call,
Don’t fall in love with me-
Don’t let the Fates tempt, and fool us all!
It’s the moment, a wayward drop in Time
Don’t give up sanity, for the senseless dying
Don’t give in to the lure of the Wild,
Or let go for the heady beckoning of flying.
There’s nothing to be had, none to miss
Don’t give up a Life, for that stolen kiss
With a wintry soul, that gushes cold.
Don’t rejoice over what sours when old.
Move away and move on, never to look back, never to find
Don’t think of those dark eyes that you’ll leave behind.

N.B. ‘Reprimere‘ is ‘to repress, or suppress’ in Italian.

Posted in Creations, Darkness, Love, Man and Woman, People and Relationships, Verses | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

অব্যক্ত

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Guria

কি করে মেটাবি রে মনের সুপ্ত আশ
যখন ভয়েই থাকিস, লুকিয়ে রাখিস
ভাবিস, “হব না কোনদিন তোর অভ্যাস!”
শুধুই চোখে রাখা, অন্তরের দীর্ঘ নিঃশ্বাস |
চোখের কথা পড়তে পারি ভালই
তবু সে যে বড় কঠোর কাজ-
ক্ষণে ক্ষণে ধরে রাখা, বুঝতে পারা,
উল্টেপাল্টে খুঁটিয়ে দেখা তোর মনের ভাঁজ!
তুই কি ভাবিস তুই একা?
শুধুই তুই, যে রঙ্গে মাতা?
মনও তোর, হৃদয়ও তোর-
আর তার সঙ্গে তার সকল ব্যথা?
চেয়ে চেয়ে আনমনে ভাবলি তাই, যে আমি নিস্পৃহ, আমি নির্দয় –
আর আমি? টেবিলের তলায় লুকোলাম কাঁপা হাত, হেসে ঢাকলাম ভয় ||

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কবি, তোমায়

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Guria

কবি, তুমি বল তুমি কবিতা লিখতে পারো না;
আবার হেসে বল, “‘ন হন্যতে’ লিখব আমি-
জবাবে তোমার, হার তো আমি মানব না!”
কিন্তু কবি, তুমি নাকি কবিতা লিখতে পারো না!

আমার লেখা বুঝি ‘ল্য নুইট বেঙ্গালি’?!
শুধুই রাগ, অভিমান? আর সঙ্গে মিশে ফ্যান্টাসি?
মির্চা আমি মোটেও নই, অমৃতাও নই নিশ্চয়-
আমি হলাম স্বপ্ন শুধু, যে মধ্যরাতে জাগতে পায়!

কবি, তুমি কবিতা নয়, সুর দিয়ে খালি গান লেখ,
শায়েরী-গজল সব ছেড়ে, তুমি কেবল মনের ভাব এঁকো!
আমার সাথে মনের লড়াই, আটকাবে কোন সাধ করে-
এ কথার বাঁধন ছাড়বে না যে, আলাপ শুধুই ভাব করে।

কবি, তুমি নতুন কিছু লেখ কিংবা নাই লেখ-
তোমার সকল ক্ষোভের কথা, আমার কাছেই জমা রেখ!

N.B. Writing poetry in Bengali scares me, as nothing less than beautiful can be enough for this language. But then nothing is as grand as poetry in Bengali. Different conversations, different people led to this piece- good or bad, I cannot judge (and I am too scared to ask or find out!). It refers to two books (and the two characters from the books), one a French novel by a Romanian author, Mircea Eliade – ‘La Nuit Bengali‘ or “Bengal Nights” which recalled his version of his lost love. And the other is “Na Hanyate” or “It Does Not Die”, a Bengali novel written in reply many years later, by Maitreyi Devi, an Indian poet and novelist, who wanted her side of the story to be told as well. It is the latter book that I was reading and savoring, which is part of where this poetry came from. And somehow I enjoyed writing it immensely, even if it may not read as beautifully as how it resonated in me… Love, Guria.

P.S. As much as titles, names, and naming are an integral part of me (and what I dare to create)- I couldn’t find the perfect title to this piece. In another time, I would let it be without one. But here, I went for the simple. ~G.

Posted in Creations, Happy, Love, Passions, Verses | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

মেঘময়

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Guria

এ কি বৃষ্টি! গোটা সৃষ্টি
দেখ কাঁপে থর-থর;
ধরণী কাঁদে, বসে একাকী
গোটা গোটা চোখে ফোঁটা বড় বড়।

একটু সাবেকি, একটু আধুনিক
লুকোনো মানেটা তুই জানিস কি?
হাসির ছটায় চোখের জল,
মেঘের দেশে আমরা পরীর দল!

নিঝুম রাতের ভালোবাসা,
সূর্য্য উঠলে সে যে দিশাহারা;
আজ মেঘলা দিনের বায়না ধরে
তাই চল না যাই ঘরেতে ফিরে-
সুখ-দুঃখের গল্প বলে, একটু হেসে একটু কেঁদে,
ঘড়ির কাঁটা ঘুরিয়ে দি! তোর সঙ্গেতে প্রাণ ভুলিয়ে দি!

Posted in Creations, Nature, Observer, Passions, Verses | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

A picture hides a thousand emotions

Posted on October 30, 2015 by Guria

In hindsight, all it had taken was one blurry, spur-of-the-moment, one dimensional photograph. Though that one glance taking in the obvious could barely ring warning bells in your mind about the looming crevice in the not-so-distant future, simply put, it made an impression. Not forgotten in its entirety, but tucked away in the subconscious which remembered it in its most impactful glory. A truth underlined by the fact that I remembered him in that weird smile long, long after. And those lit-up eyes, smiling with an endearing arrogance that was more adorable than I had thought arrogance ever could be. Did I know his heart then? More than I do now? Did I know mine? I thought I did but now, I’ll never know. All I knew at that time, for whatever reasons I’d given myself I don’t remember, all I knew- it was going to be an adventure.

The picture had had unleashed emotions that I didn’t explore or even acknowledge because that was the right thing to do. But they were there, bubbling right under the surface. I never paused to think of the consequences, for I scoffed, what consequences?! There was no situation to be any consequences. And then these were from my brilliant imagination running awry again- I was used to that. The same experiences that had taught me that, reality is the farthest thing from what my crazy brain conjures up.

But what I didn’t know, that there was another photograph too. What I didn’t factor into my well-established equation that there was a mind, similar in essence, that held that picture in front of wondering eyes, and thought, and imagined.

I wasn’t proven wrong in my theory of reality and my imagination, that one being a mere fraction of the other. It was just that I had gotten the factors upside down. That was my first mistake.

Note: This is a part of a series that I call “Chapters” because even if I cannot write a novel, I sure can tell a story in parts. While the story, the setting and the characters are entirely fiction, the emotions are always true as are the inspirations (aside from the need to tell a story and I am a master at concocting emotional and tragic pieces of ‘art’, as widely known already!). And writing, as always, is therapy, and there is no better way to channel the darkness innate in all of us than to create from it.

Posted in Chapters, Darkness, Love, Novelette, People and Relationships, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shubho Bijoya! শুভ বিজয়া!

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Guria
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!! শুভ বিজয়া !!

তুমি কবে এলে,
কবে এসে ফিরে গেলে…
কলকাতাতে পড়ে আছে মন,
তবু তুমি আমার জন্য এলে বস্টন-
জানিনা ফিরব কবে,
কবে দেখব তোমায় নিজের ঘরে-
তাও, আমি জানি, এই প্রান্তেও,
তুমি আসবে ফিরে ফিরে-
আসছে বছর আবার হবে!

Posted in Calcutta and Bengali, Creations, Passions, Photography, Random, The Other Side of the River, Verses | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment