You can say it’s the Indiblogger rank, or the “brand-new” second-hand car… so what really happens when you plummet, spin out of your own control and crash? You learn.
I am being unintentionally funny. Which I don’t think I’ll apologize for.
There was a time I’d blog for others, which obviously wasn’t me really ‘writing’…. and I hated it so damn much, but was an addict to the networking and sucking-up to and fro not-so-pretty dimension of blogging. More I starved for that, the less I could or did write. There’s some things you don’t do because others are on the opposite side listening, waiting. And obviously you definitely can’t do them right when done for attention. But after a long time of an inward chastising, not-so-cleansing catharsis, I have finally been exorcised. All I needed was not being able to write. And it was enough.
We know every rule, every philosophy, but we don’t really seem to understand them till it happens to us like the one in this case- trying to understand what you do, why you do, what it is to you till you can’t really do it any more…
So now I write from my desk in my lab while everyone else has gone to lunch, I post them via emails and don’t even visit my blog page; and maybe the very rare few comments that pop-up, I moderate from my emails feeling a tinge of guilt, not knowing when I’ll reply, but a happiness that some do care for me as who I am and not my popularity, as I am neither witty nor famous nor great, nor ‘unputdownable’ and of course, not a regular reader for quite some time now.
And funnily I’m lighter and I’m happier and lo, I can write! Something that makes me content.
And I am glad I finally found myself, again, from the dredges of lost and misdirected priorities. Yeah, I am back to loving myself.
P.S. I think I really, really want to go to Ireland. Irish people seem to be really awesome!
Somehow I too happen to show the same intensity of ignorance towards my blog. Hopefully happier moments comeback again 😀
ah girl, good to see you around more often..the thing we discussed always, and finally it's happening..you are blogging about what you feel like 🙂
even I have not been commenting much these days..I am somehow enjoying the laid back attitude..same thing about replying to comments..whatever time I get, I prefer to write and read..replying can happen when I am lazying around..but no time for that for now 🙂
love ya :))) and take care..your indirank will be back and kicking 🙂
writing do helps in feeling lighter 🙂
keep blogging… people are there who love to read you 🙂
Back to loving yourself!!! Sounds so HEDONISTIC 😛
Loved the post, especially And funnily I'm lighter and I'm happier and lo, I can write! Something that makes me content.
I don know abt Irish ppl, but the place is indeed awesome!
whenever one stops writing for themselves, they just stop.
what a way to work! :))
Welcome bak to writing….! 🙂
Go Ireland! 😛 😛 😛
Ah! Even i m going ignoring my blog. I read all the updates from you guys but skip commenting. I need to get back to blogging too.
Writing for oneself is the greatest joy.. knowing that nobody even might read it .. leave commenting .. I find blogging creates obsession towards comments – we need to save ourselves from that!
Just blog for yourself 🙂
Do you really worry about Indirank?
Blogging is like poetry,keep writing and those who like it will certainly visit and comment.
Am still waiting for that Awesome Guria stamped post! ah am very selfish and impatient. Get on with your writing fast buddy! You have the ability to create magic with words. 🙂
So much true about me too.. Now I am happy for being able to write for my own self.. Those old days just passed by.. 😛
And hey I love reading you.. 🙂
After two years of writing, I've understood one thing; you don't need a reason/topic to write. Just put the pen on the paper and write what your hand writes (or type). And as you know, it is therapeutic. That's what you are doing. Just continue doing so. 🙂
P.S. I miss your stories.
nice to see such a post. its always important to write for oneself. And when ur not a commercial author, and blogs for the love of writin ( a bit of appreciation is always good any day 😉 ), this is the attitude that brings the best posts out 🙂
i too am not commentin much nowadays. got busy with books. i read up my fav blogs on the phone and comments don't get posted properly from that browser. and when i come online on my laptop n post comments, they go LOOONG like this 😉
have fun writin girl 🙂