…do I have to be a Feminist?
I am honestly puzzled.
All the opinions expressed and arguments presented are mine, no one has to agree to them. This is not written as an amusement for the men, or for ridiculing anyone but an honest approach to try and bring clarity to what I consider a very muddy subject. I am keen to know what You think. Any mistake, please feel free to mention it, and I’ll try to rectify it immediately.
I have been reading/hearing the word “feminist” expressed in so many places in such varied instances that I felt compelled to look up its meaning. Yeah, I don’t know what it means, after all hearsay is inadmissible in the court of law.
My beloved Google came up with such immensely controversial explanations that I ended up more befuddled than before. So I sought refuge with the age-old method and reverted to my dear ole’ Oxford Dictionary.
Is that what it means???
Now I am even more puzzled.
I’ll tell you what I found to be the standing meaning of “Feminism” is/was.
#1 A woman should have the freedom to do whatever a man can do.
Last I knew there were only two sexes amongst humans, then who are the women asking the permission from? But I am digressing…
So, according to that statement, I’ve seen women want the freedom to smoke outside, get drunk out on the roads, just like the men, you see! I mean, I have to do whatever a man can do. No choice about whether it is good or bad, I just want to be
allowed able to do it. That’s one form of feminism I have actually seen. I do not know whether it includes giving up all those a man cannot do, and only a woman can. Don’t you think there is something wrong with the statement? To me, it sounds to be a case of inferiority complex and nothing else.
#2 Feminists have become synonymous with man-hater
I think this probably the worst interpretation of the word “feminism”, a personal vendetta against men. I cannot talk about the validity of being a man-hater because one shouldn’t talk about what one doesn’t understand. But to use the pretext of achieving equality for women to provoke or try to convert other women into hating men is despicable.
#3 As a woman and feminist you should always choose another woman
Scenario: Elections of United States, 2008
Case: Hilary Clinton put her hopes into her being a woman to get the votes of the female population when vying against Barack Obama for running in the Presidential Elections.
It is funny how being a feminist forces you to choose or support another woman, just because you are one. I thought feminism was about freedom, but here it seems the freedom comes with the price of being shackled in exactly the opposite way. Choose a woman (no one’s asking about your choice) because you are one. I was happy Obama ran for the President instead of Clinton, that was my choice.
So with all these points in mind, do you think I was wrong in saying I am NOT a feminist?
~What I think~
Why should I want to be like a man when I am born to be different? Why should I ask for permission from anyone, man or woman, just to be who I am? Feminism is required to show the women the way to believe that they are also worthy human beings. It should be there to help them gather the will to break through the shackles of that society that undermines women. For you can do everything for an abused, but if the abused doesn’t help herself, or doesn’t have the will to free herself, no one can help her (this just an example to stress the point). Equality should be stressed in letting a woman play to her strengths, accomplish what she is capable of acheiving, of pursuing her hobbies, her talents, of giving a woman a chance at her dreams, her wishes. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you give up your role as a nurturer, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter-in-law or as a daughter. Feminism should teach other women to enjoy their difference from the men, to never think less of themselves and be who they are. As a woman, one should have the freedom of choosing whatever she wants. I can want to have a son or a daughter, I can have a man as my best friend, my choice will be as an individual, unaffected by any kind of forced gender bias. And others, especially men, should also understand that. Everything is not decided, or even affected, by what my gender is. That is what, I believe Equality entails. The first thing that equality requires is to understand there is no one superior, and no one inferior, and know it yourself, and know it in your heart. The movement starts at home.
What I believe I am or always want to be is a woman (and not be like a man), as feminine as I have been created to be, with the freedom to think, decide and choose independently. If being a feminist means just this and nothing else, then yes, I am a feminist.
P.S. Read this wonderful poem and feel the beauty of life. It’s my favourite. And somehow is so right here. Feel it: Menstruation by Rocksea. G. 🙂