…do I have to be a Feminist?
I am honestly puzzled.
All the opinions expressed and arguments presented are mine, no one has to agree to them. This is not written as an amusement for the men, or for ridiculing anyone but an honest approach to try and bring clarity to what I consider a very muddy subject. I am keen to know what You think. Any mistake, please feel free to mention it, and I’ll try to rectify it immediately.
I have been reading/hearing the word “feminist” expressed in so many places in such varied instances that I felt compelled to look up its meaning. Yeah, I don’t know what it means, after all hearsay is inadmissible in the court of law.
My beloved Google came up with such immensely controversial explanations that I ended up more befuddled than before. So I sought refuge with the age-old method and reverted to my dear ole’ Oxford Dictionary.
Is that what it means???
Now I am even more puzzled.
I’ll tell you what I found to be the standing meaning of “Feminism” is/was.
#1 A woman should have the freedom to do whatever a man can do.
Last I knew there were only two sexes amongst humans, then who are the women asking the permission from? But I am digressing…
So, according to that statement, I’ve seen women want the freedom to smoke outside, get drunk out on the roads, just like the men, you see! I mean, I have to do whatever a man can do. No choice about whether it is good or bad, I just want to be
allowed able to do it. That’s one form of feminism I have actually seen. I do not know whether it includes giving up all those a man cannot do, and only a woman can. Don’t you think there is something wrong with the statement? To me, it sounds to be a case of inferiority complex and nothing else.
#2 Feminists have become synonymous with man-hater
I think this probably the worst interpretation of the word “feminism”, a personal vendetta against men. I cannot talk about the validity of being a man-hater because one shouldn’t talk about what one doesn’t understand. But to use the pretext of achieving equality for women to provoke or try to convert other women into hating men is despicable.
#3 As a woman and feminist you should always choose another woman
Scenario: Elections of United States, 2008
Case: Hilary Clinton put her hopes into her being a woman to get the votes of the female population when vying against Barack Obama for running in the Presidential Elections.
It is funny how being a feminist forces you to choose or support another woman, just because you are one. I thought feminism was about freedom, but here it seems the freedom comes with the price of being shackled in exactly the opposite way. Choose a woman (no one’s asking about your choice) because you are one. I was happy Obama ran for the President instead of Clinton, that was my choice.
So with all these points in mind, do you think I was wrong in saying I am NOT a feminist?
~What I think~
Why should I want to be like a man when I am born to be different? Why should I ask for permission from anyone, man or woman, just to be who I am? Feminism is required to show the women the way to believe that they are also worthy human beings. It should be there to help them gather the will to break through the shackles of that society that undermines women. For you can do everything for an abused, but if the abused doesn’t help herself, or doesn’t have the will to free herself, no one can help her (this just an example to stress the point). Equality should be stressed in letting a woman play to her strengths, accomplish what she is capable of acheiving, of pursuing her hobbies, her talents, of giving a woman a chance at her dreams, her wishes. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you give up your role as a nurturer, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter-in-law or as a daughter. Feminism should teach other women to enjoy their difference from the men, to never think less of themselves and be who they are. As a woman, one should have the freedom of choosing whatever she wants. I can want to have a son or a daughter, I can have a man as my best friend, my choice will be as an individual, unaffected by any kind of forced gender bias. And others, especially men, should also understand that. Everything is not decided, or even affected, by what my gender is. That is what, I believe Equality entails. The first thing that equality requires is to understand there is no one superior, and no one inferior, and know it yourself, and know it in your heart. The movement starts at home.
What I believe I am or always want to be is a woman (and not be like a man), as feminine as I have been created to be, with the freedom to think, decide and choose independently. If being a feminist means just this and nothing else, then yes, I am a feminist.
P.S. Read this wonderful poem and feel the beauty of life. It’s my favourite. And somehow is so right here. Feel it: Menstruation by Rocksea. G. 🙂
An Artist in Science: A Misfit 'cause I choose to be one. "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform" And a Maverick, because, I'm... umm... brilliant?
Great blog post. I agree with your sentiments. Sadly, too many couples I know still adhere to ideas of the woman ceding her position to whatever the man wants.
Girl Rant!!!! arghhhhhhhhhh!
Welcome to the Maverick Misfit! 🙂
And thanks! 🙂
Well, thankfully the scenario is changing, slowly maybe, but at least it is. 🙂
Welcome back! 😛
What did you expect??
Boy Barking?? 😀 😀
oh okay. now understood the point behind this post 😛 hehe.. you are right girlie. Instead of comparing, we should think about what we want to do 🙂
I so very agree with you. Feminism is such wrongly understood. In fact, the word somehow makes people interpret that “women WANT to dominate”.
Maybe, its true to an extent, with such misinterpretation. I once updated my status message thus – “Well behaved women rarely make history”.
It was just for fun; these words were on a plank of wood which I captured during my tour of NW USA. I was bombarded by several people asking if were a feminist!! It was so absurd; yet at the same time I realized how deviated the true meaning is.
By the way, every genuine intention is seen with suspicion isnt it? Cant help!!
Oops, I seem to go on and on. You have written it so well, bang on it. Its superb!!
i completely agree with your views here. “A feminist must be a big fan of celebrating womanhood”
Interesting post. I agree in the misinterpretation of the word 'feminist'. Lots of people associate it with a 'man-hater'. I like men but I am a feminist in that I believe in the equality of both sexes. That does not mean that men shouldn't do certain things. But again, feminism is a choice I guess. And it's each woman to her own. And you have to take into consideration where the term originated from — it was at a time where women did not have as many rights as men…and in some countries, they still don't.
U have echoed what I've been thinking all along… That's the way it is isn't it, … Misusing the theory and terminology for some ulterior motives??
Very well written Guria
“A woman should have the freedom to do whatever a man can do”
I am curious to know, how does that sentence mean “the freedom to smoke outside, get drunk out on the roads, just like the men”??
Couldn't it mean just be able to live life on our own terms?? Does it have to be drinks and smoking?? Isn't that your own interpretation?? For me the same sentence would mean I would not be denied things just because of my gender, sometimes something as simple as signing the report card of my child when the school insists that it has to be done only by the father. WHY??
Please don't belittle the difficulties the majority of women are going through with such frivolous interpretations. We don't want to drink or smoke. we want to be treated as humans, not sub humans.
If at all feminism is taken to mean drinking and smoking like the men, it might be so for a limited few who have all the means at their disposal, not for ordinary folk who have to fight at every step to get what is rightfully theirs.
Besides this particular sentence of yours is also an insult to men. Are men about smoking and drinking on streets?? Isn't their more to them than that??
I respect your right to hold your views of course. Cheers.
@shail: I understand my English is very poor. Or you are not familiar with a thing called sarcasm.
Misconstruing a thought or an idea can be a very dangerous thing.
Please try to understand what I've written before making rash judgement about who is being belittled and what not. If it still difficult to understand read the comments before (i know there are several and almost a whole post by itself)…
Thanks for 'respecting' my views but please don't build stories of what I have NOT said.