As it happens i am a very modest person. I always ask if anyone has anythin’ to talk about before i begin about myself. Since you are here and definitely readin’ this… i guess you don’t have anythin’ else to talk about. My best friend kept tellin’ me always that i’m a person with sooo many colors… i really don’t know what she meant by that (what color is a coward? since we have already established that i am one)… but since she is my best friend, it must have meant somethin’ good. Anyways, it has always helped in preservin’ my inflated idea about myself, that’s what’s important.
I am one person who shares similarities with none, after all we all pride on ourselves for being different, but is always lookin’ for similarities with anybody who chances by. But if you ask me, what you think are my eccentricities are actually the genius part of me…very difficult for the Normal person (like you) to fathom! Honestly, i am a person strivin’ so hard to mesh with the woodwork, that i always stand out…. as an aberration! Not that you will ever hear me sayin’ the same again… this was jus’ one of those irritatin’, not-at-all-welcome moments of uncomfortable truths! Yeah, to go back where we were… me, i’m so different from you, you can’t even begin to imagine! You are way over your head here, buddy!
Talkin’ about differences…take the instance of Friends. How i wish friendship had the same simple definition for me as it does for every other less-conflicted human being who does not wake every morning tryin’ to justify the phenomenon of wakin’ up! My complicated concept of friends, however, is somethin’ that does define how i am different from the rest of the lesser mortals! Because of that, i have my sense of self-righteousness, comfort of knowin’ that i’m right and… no friends. Is there anyone out there crazy enough to conform to my idea of a friend… no way… it’s way to difficult to conform to an idea, any idea… who the hell wants to compete with an ideal!
But the most amazin’ (and the most irritatin’) thing is, that i have seen people around me have “friends” exactly by my definition and sometimes, even better than that! And the only difference is that they don’t demand it or judge by definition. Friendship to them is jus’ that, a matter of heart and nothin’ else!
Poor me, innit !!!! And you thought bein’ different is so easy! Huh!
God! For how long have I been whinin’!!! Sometimes, i even manage to disgust myself!
More will be comin’ up later (after all that’s what this goddamn blog is all about, innit?!)…see if you can wait! (I know you are jus’ dyin’ to read more, aren’t you!)