I haven’t been cathartic in a while now, and a non-sappy, non-complaining, definitely non-melodramatic, less-attempt-to-rhyme, down-to-earth, realistic, therapeutic yet sarcastic post is long over due. Of course, I may not deliver on any of them or manage to get them all but the last few months’ worth of drivel that I have been churning out (and calling them “poetry”) has made me unrecognizable to myself. Where is thy razor-blade tongue, the unforgiving arrogance and that delicate play with words dripping wit? (I think very highly of myself)
So, life has gone topsy-turvy, nothing makes sense, all the planning and plotting fell through unforeseen cracks of shifting tectonic plates and I am loving it. Possibilities, my dear, it’s all about possibilities and opportunities; to begin, to build, then watch it all break down into innumerable pieces, and then with a deep breath to begin all over again.
To throw away the cares of the world, what the world commands you and expects you to do, and to finally follow your heart – it took me thirty years or so to get here and man, have I arrived!
People come back. Even the ones whom you thought were lost over nothing and for life. When the season changes, when we get the wisdom of retrospect, you realize you are not forgotten by the ones for whom once you’d go into battles. Doors close, but others do open. People can be wonderful (can you imagine!), but they often need that one chance to fail before they succeed. No one is infallible. Sometimes one just needs a road back. Yeah, I have become patient, understanding and often forgiving. Forgetting, not yet so much, but I have finally cast aside that heavy, dark cloak of “what people say” “what people think“, and it is simply liberating.
Another lesson: we all hit roadblocks, some more massive than others, one time or another. It never defines us. What defines us how we attempt to recognize it, accept it, accept ourselves and actively fight to survive, to live and then, succeed. We stand up, dust it off and keep moving ahead, even if it is in a painful crawl. We finally stand up and root for ourselves, strive to find everything within us and never look elsewhere for strength, compassion and faith. And again, to my everlasting surprise, people rally. They get behind you, not out of pity or condescending sympathy. They get behind you to lend support, and often to break your fall. Of course, roadblocks are also good checkpoints. For when the dust clears, you get 20/20 vision of the ones who are worth it, and the ones you know you have to leave behind no matter how much it pinches.
Silver linings continued, I have it on good and respectable authority that I have my acerbic tongue back. Apparently, my rudeness adds a charm to my already scintillating personality, and people crave for more. And who am I to deny what the masses want. And despite rather popular opinion, which I consider deeply flawed (ever since the U.S. Elections 2016, campaigns for imminent Indian Elections 2019 and other such political maneuvers ongoing), I have finally been convinced that I am pretty as well. Even without make-up or Instagram filters, with my fat nose and dark circles, I am still quite pretty (with all of the above, it should make me breathtakingly beautiful) and all the not-so-flattering pictures of me are results of amateurs and not-so-fabulous, inexpensive cameras.
So, while change is not exactly invigorating, suddenly I realize I am not averse to new things while enjoying my own exhilarating company and at times with my old gang of devilish friends. And while counting all the silver and golden linings of change, I realized my intelligence sustained through it all, and I may even be scoring higher on the EQ as well. So, I am now brains and beauty. I’d say, I am scoring pretty high on life. Philosophy much?