February 22, 2011An old entry from an older diary
I have been thinking so much about you. You know that, don’t you. And I forgot what day it was. It is the day, two years ago, when you left us. I can’t ever forget what that day was like. I was blossoming in the midst of my happiness when you took your last breath. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t the last person to come to know of the terrible truth, that I was there when the angry winds brought in the tidings but other times, I forget that these two times, my happy and the transpired unhappy happened at the same time at all.
I just hope you can see us from wherever you are. If not anything, hope where you are now gives you the freedom to look at the love that lives on for you, the love that you inspired in all of us. Then, you must also know that it is not only today that we think of you but that you are never too far away from the conscious edges of our minds, and always there in our hearts. Hope you are in peace and are happy with all that you accomplished in your journey to this magnificent world. I hope you can look at your beloved mother and be near her in spirit, with you looking out for her this time, from above. Wherever you are or will be, I want you to be happy and with us in hearts, yours meshed into ours.
On this day two years ago, you had to leave us. And on this day I tell you, you can never leave us, you stay on in our thoughts, our words, our still-beating hearts as it’s your love that keeps us going, that is eternal.
One day, I will tell you how it was my dream that you would be the one to give me away as a bride. Only I had never known that was to remain just a wish. I’ll miss you worse when I finally become a bride.
I still wish you were here…
Sometimes I still wish that the real story is that you are a Secret Agent and had to go undercover without telling your family. That you are still in this world, around here somewhere, just lurking out of sight.