There are two actually.
Meeting them, separately for the first time was almost as worse as meeting the in-laws. Oh, and I haven’t actually met the in-laws in the official capacity. That is probably because in our society, we meet officially at a max of a year to six months before the actual marriage, and we are to get married not in the next four years!
But best friends are a different matter altogether. Their stamp of approval is needed at the inception, more than the parents’. Or so I believe.
Now I am a very gregarious, extrovert, out-spoken, out-going, witty… blogger. Only. Meet me in real life, you will have to twist me for words. I am shy, introvertish, seemingly cannot string two words together and yeah, dumb too! Especially when meeting new people I lose my tongue and become a witless scatter-brain.
So imagine my state when I was to meet each of his best men. Anticipating meeting his friends was an ordeal, and I was visibly nervous before both the meetings.
My observations, once when I used to The Cynic, were my only tools in approaching the impending disaster it was bound to be.
Firstly, though of course, you will tell me otherwise, I don’t consider myself remotely beautiful or even, pretty. First strike against me, as I felt, a good-looker goes a long way in befuddling a man’s brain long enough to hinder him in looking beyond the superficial. No one’s fault, it is just the way it is.
Secondly, befuddling the brain wearing skimpy dresses don’t work. Because when the best friend feels the blood draining out of his brain, that is strike two, as this is not the girl he is going to allow his friend to be with. For leisure, or a week, that’s more than fine but a lifetime, no way!! Men are strange that way.
Thirdly, I just detest being put on show, to be judged: nice, good, sexy or merely passable!
But I was newly in love. I hadn’t thought much of it.
And my subconscious was busy struggling with another set of problems.
Boys, the ones especially friends for a long time, tend to begrudge the time their newly engaged friend spends with his girlfriend. This is something that I haven’t really seen among girls but among the younger guys, it is very rampant. And after some time, the more serious the relationship, or more JKG (borrowed from the Indianhomemaker) the guy is, the worse are the reactions of the friends.
So it was like me facing the gallows, waiting for the judge to bang on his gavel!
Thirdly, I just detest being put on show, to be judged: nice, good, sexy or merely passable!
But I was newly in love. I hadn’t thought much of it.
And my subconscious was busy struggling with another set of problems.
Boys, the ones especially friends for a long time, tend to begrudge the time their newly engaged friend spends with his girlfriend. This is something that I haven’t really seen among girls but among the younger guys, it is very rampant. And after some time, the more serious the relationship, or more JKG (borrowed from the Indianhomemaker) the guy is, the worse are the reactions of the friends.
So it was like me facing the gallows, waiting for the judge to bang on his gavel!
But the funny thing that happened was, the love those two guys have for my fiancé, okay okay not love, he glares at me I use the word ‘love’ (“We do not love each other…Men don’t love other men!” accompanied by rolling eyes)… So, what happened was the bond that they share, the friendship or whatever you call it (I still call it ‘love’, being a woman I have no problem with copious usage of any L-word) was extended to me without an extra thought. They cared for me because their best friend did, because he was in love with me, and that was enough for them. And not for a single moment did they judge me. They liked me even before they’d met me, and meeting me strictly was just that, meeting me. No judgement, no verdicts nothing.
By being in love with a wonderful man, got me friends too, ones for life.
And when I bared all to him, he was taken aback, “So, what’s the big deal? You expected, what?” Of course, I realised, he didn’t know what privilege and honour his best friends had bestowed on him, on me, because he would have done the same. That’s why they were best friends.
And it is hard to keep on being a Cynic, when you cannot apply your cynicism.
Today, I am best buddies with both the crackpots!
One of them is a computer geek and a composer-guitarist and the other a football fanatic and a bizwhiz… One of them is totally opposite to my fiancé, and hence just like me, the other was the one who introduced blogs and Blogger to me, and was my first reader too. Both are as crazy- one madly, one philosophically- as me, and as brilliant too.
And the real thing is, they are no more just my fiancé’s but are My Best Men, too.
(Erm, I think they might be a bit disagreeable about the term “Maid of Honour”)
By being in love with a wonderful man, got me friends too, ones for life.
And when I bared all to him, he was taken aback, “So, what’s the big deal? You expected, what?” Of course, I realised, he didn’t know what privilege and honour his best friends had bestowed on him, on me, because he would have done the same. That’s why they were best friends.
And it is hard to keep on being a Cynic, when you cannot apply your cynicism.
Today, I am best buddies with both the crackpots!
One of them is a computer geek and a composer-guitarist and the other a football fanatic and a bizwhiz… One of them is totally opposite to my fiancé, and hence just like me, the other was the one who introduced blogs and Blogger to me, and was my first reader too. Both are as crazy- one madly, one philosophically- as me, and as brilliant too.
And the real thing is, they are no more just my fiancé’s but are My Best Men, too.
(Erm, I think they might be a bit disagreeable about the term “Maid of Honour”)
Maverick Misfit 
Lucky you! I totally agree that if you look great, you can keep the guys distracted for a while. well, this gives me some hope for future 🙂
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Blogging has given us all the medium to express the real us, the one we are from the core. It takes a lot of honesty to admit who we are in real lives. Those little imperfections makes life all the more fun 🙂
That was a wonderful post, brimming with emotions 🙂
My best wishes for both of you for a fantastic future ahead 😀 😀
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Ha ha, lol 🙂 Isn't it wonderful to be a partner's best-friends' friend 🙂
I remember receiving a welcome letter (no email then) from my soon-to-be-husband's best friend, it does make one feel included in all their fun activities 🙂
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lol…that was some meeting..and you met them separately..
I had to meet 4 such friends – all four being best men as you all them! I make a fool of myself totally..in attempt to come across an an intelligent and witty girl; I mess up things completely..then I start stammering, forgetting what I am supposed to say! baapre it's a nightmare..
PS: by the way; I didn't have to twist you to make you talk 😛 that too in Hindi all the time 😀
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Yeah guys can be more clique-ish. I had to prepare Kid#2 for the entry of his Bhabhi into his life – and that he had to let go his brother! But men dont reject or conspire – they are more accepting.
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Touche!
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WOw.. YEah its true. .telling from my point of view a Man's it is important to be friendly with the best mates, they like you or you like them is important .. Cause if you look at it .. you are going to spend a lot of time well a lot more then ur inlaws..
THe guys are going to spend time and when you go out and about its going to be the same people .. So ver important ..
a lot of decisions that are made will involve them for i am sure your TO BE will ask his friends views too
so its important.. that you get along .. I once had a problem with a freidns Fiance.. and now we are not good friends ..
A great post i remember when my best friend got his fiance to meet me .. and Now she and Me are the BEST Friends and we share a lot more then him and me now ..
So all the best and Very good luck …
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I am in complete agreement with Bikram
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Ha ha brought smile in me throug out the read! and ya boy bonding is a different thing that gals cannot understand 😛 heehe just kidding.
brought back lots of pleasant memories 🙂
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You are so lucky to have a boy friend who is lucky to have such friends (phew)
Often there are little thing which cause complications…
Its nice that you cleared the whole situation…
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it's safe to really like his friends…but reality is that everything just fizzles out when priorities shift after a marriage…their's as well as ours…hope I am not a wet blanket!
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