A traveller in search for the true meaning of life, I never knew that life was waiting for me right at home.
She was married. And she was happily married. And not to me. But I couldn’t regret that.
Her happiness was evident in the deep dimples on her cheeks that never showed signs of relenting. Her smile would come fast and suddenly, like the sudden bright rays of the sun peeking from behind heavy clouds, and dissipating all gloom. Her smile had that power of illuminating my existence, robbing me of all my despair and grief, and my senses too.
But she never really saw herself in the mirror. She could never understand what I saw in her. Every time she stood before that silvered glass, all she’d see was a thin and lanky girl, with nothing attractive whatsoever, no talents, no looks, nothing.
And I would gape in awe. Sometimes. At other times, I would burst out in anger.
How could she not see what she really was. A brave, beautiful and insightful woman. How easily frustrated she could make me with her denials about herself. And I would become angrier for I couldn’t show her, what she really was, how I beheld her! How I wished I could let her see herself through my eyes. She would never believe that she was beautiful, that I honestly thought so. She didn’t like being praised, she didn’t like being told that she was the light of my life. But she knew I loved her and that’s all she would ever accept from me.
The mystery of it all was that she loved me too. Almost as much as she loved her husband. I knew that. But still it was different. There was something spiritual, almost primal in our strange love story. She couldn’t do without me, like I couldn’t do without her. But there was a difference.
A stark difference in that, that we had never seen each other.
Were we just a figment of our each others’ imaginations? Or did we really exist?
Even if we didn’t, our love did. I know it did. It was written in every word uttered, in every word that spilled out from our hearts. It was there in the mornings when we found solace in each other. It was there in the outraged anger at the injustice towards the other. It was bright in the words we left for the world to see. It was there in how it was us or neither. It was there when we took every single stride together. Her excitement in my achievement, my happiness in hers. Her pride in how I would change the world and my secret pride in how she made the world beautiful. Our co-ordinated actions through out the day, missing the other madly. Our loved shined in every moment that we spent together and away from each other.
But I was a mere human in love with a Goddess, I had my moments of failings too, moments that tarnished the purity of our love. Moments of viciousness, of a murderous intent. Why didn’t I know her first?!
And moments of weakness, when I turned to the other woman in my life. I didn’t love the other as much, but she was there to console, to heal when my love was with her husband. And I capitulated always, out of anger, bitterness and jealousy, and a want for what I didn’t have. Missing her was a pain that made me too human. And impossible to bear!
But she was always there. In my mind, my heart, my soul. This strange world didn’t exist without her.
But I could never have her. And not because she was in love with her husband. There was a much graver problem. An unscalable one. Us. What we were.
P.S. This is a work of fiction. A strange one but still. And should be treated as such.
P.P.S. To Regular Readers- Imagine: If the narrator is actually the writer, then who is the girl? With this in mind, go on read it again! I think the meaning and the gravity of the piece will change remarkably! 😀 Love, G. 😉
P.P.P.S. For those who don’t understand, simply enjoy the post! Others, still need help?? I did say I’ll help! See here! G.:)
Image Courtesy : crunkquotes.com
I thought PPS was true..
OK now let me read it again…
after reading it again——>OK….
but where is Neha?
Interesting…i think I got the drift…
well written and it does seem to me that there is a story to be told from the other side as well…:-)
Okay G, I read, I reread, and am still stumped… The only way I can see it both is that it's a woman talking about her reflection… But some pieces just don't fit… Arrgh! Damn I feel so stupid! Please enlighten me with the other angle on this!
well i am not that regular… but man! was this some piece of writing!! my first reaction after reading this was that either the its a true story and the P.S. is a lie or this is truly fiction then hats off to u… ever thought of becoming an author?:)
Latest Blog post: 30 seconds late…
Neha is there where you think she is! 😀
Story from the other side? Don't put ideas into her head! And you would get the drift, thanks to Twitter!! 😀
I'm sorry! You are indeed my regular reader but you wouldn't understand who the girl might be! Reflection of the woman? Great idea, will keep that in mind! 🙂
But I hope you enjoyed the post in general!
But for you : Check this ~ http://www.facebook.com/pages/Maverick-Misfit/207245931448?v=feed&story_fbid=276515309345
Welcome back, dude! Now, you don't put ideas in my head!! 😀
Thanks a lot for enjoying!! But tell me, are you always so effusive with praises or is it really good?!! 😀 😀
lol… i meant what I said… if I wouldn't have liked it I wouldn't have commented at all… 🙂
P.S. please remove the word verification!!
Thanks a lot again! 🙂
And I don't remove the word verification as the comments get filled with spam! But maybe temporarily, I'll see if I can! 🙂
Dhuhh! And I thought this was some deep philosophical story. 😀 (or is it?)
I'd never have got it if you'd not written P.P.S 😉
Either ways, excellent narration as usual. 🙂
Just my little experiment! 😀
I wrote it with dual meaning, one hilarious and the other as you say, philosophical, which depends upon how one reads it… Hence, your comment warms my heart, as I see that I, kind of, did achieve what I set out to! Thanks, buddy! 🙂 🙂
PPS really helped to get the whole post. Before i got there i was confused. After reading that its clear :P. Now i was a very good one :D.
Hi girl! 🙂
It was confusing, eh? But I'm glad you understood it, and liked it too.
Thank you!! 🙂
She is one of the most important Girl for you.
In her eyes you see your self and vice versa.
:-)….keep njoyiong this feeling which is fictionally real (or really fictional…lolzzzz)
Amazing narration.. ur writing makes the mind churn in a way that I can hear myself thinking whats next..
as for the implications.. there is 2 sides to it isnt it. Hehe.. Loved it..
Orientation is the word!! Is it about 2 women?? I have interpreted the story from this perspective! 😀
Good one! 🙂
You little brat !(said with utmost admiration and intended as a compliment).
You had me. I thought this was a Multiple Personality story again..
I usually ignore PS-es, so I read this 3 times and here's what I felt : I loved the narration and the angst, it flowed so effortlessly and was gripping but ending seemed abrupt and too open.
Then I saw PPPPPPS-es and it dawned 🙂 .
Ma'am ka kya khayal hai ? ;-). Too stunned kya ?
yes, Ma'am is too stunned to comment here Madhu..dunno what to say..can you please help her? 🙂
as always a masterpiece from Mav..
either way you look at it, you did a great job putting this together…makes one ponder, and that is no easy feat!
@Married Girl aka (N'Trix ?),
Bolti bandh ? That's scary. Aap bolte raho.
Try praising Guria, she loves it. She really loves compliments and does not get enough…
I always knew she was a genius when it comes to blogging; but I had failed to see that she is a magician too..I have never read such a pure form of art about love anywhere..
who is the goddess here? I am just an ordinary girl with special people in my life..rather, I am a rare blessed soul..
I'm in lab right now! Stop battering my ass with compliments!! I don't ask for them, for heaven's sake, Madhu! And Neha, don't you dare listen to him!! 😀 😀
I'll reply when I get back home!
This is where I'm supposed to do a double take but I'll let it pass for minimalism and make do with an ellipsis.
Phew!Total bouncer! 🙂 Like all the others have mentioned, had it not been for the clue in the post script, I'd have scratched my head and wondered what it was all about! Fabulous narration! Loved it!
Nice one. Excellent story telling as usual.
Okay I have to admit on reading the story for the first time I got the same idea as NesQuarx did.But thanks to the FB link I now understand.
This is indeed an awesome post Sreya…one of your very best.
There was a much graver problem. An unscalable one. Us. What we were.-Okay this really made me go lol. 😛 Write more! 🙂
everyone has an alter-ego…or in some cases a doppleganger…the mind is a strange thing…
great write more so coz you say its a work of fiction…I like the way your mind works
First let me introduce myself, I am ARJuna a young blogger from Mumbai. I have been reading all your blogs for quite some time now. I hope you all do not mind me sending this group mail.
I am sending this mail for a reason. I am turning 20 years old on 11th February, Thursday. This isn’t just any other birthday. It’s a coming of age of sorts and more importantly it is the day I cease to be a teenager. I pass on from being a Teen to an Adult.
I want to take this opportunity to connect with teens and adults alike who share my love for blogging. I want to know their views on the teenage and teens.
If you are interested to do a guest post for my blog, please make a note of the following:
1. Send me a reply on this e-mail address as soon as possible so that I know you are interested.
2. As soon as I receive your mail I will add you as a member of my blog until 15th February, Monday.
3. You can publish your post anytime in that period though it would be preferable if you could post on or before 11th February, Thursday (so that it can coincide with my ‘coming of age’)
4. I have given a few pointers below to give you some food for thought about what you can blog about in your post.
The guidelines for your post are as follows:
1. What does ‘teenage’ or ‘entering teenage’ mean to you?
2. What did you think ‘being a teenager’ and are you living up to those expectations?
3. Your experiences – good and bad – as a teenager that you face/faced.
4. What kind of trials & tribulations, internal conflicts, successes and failures did you face/ are you facing?
5. Any precious piece of wisdom you realised as a teenager?
These are just guidelines; you can choose to adhere to all/some of them but remember your style, creativity and opinion are more important.
Looking forward to your reply
Read the post thrice … and then the PPS. Damn! So I read it for the fourth time. Nice! Its crazy nice if you know what I mean
Super post G! 🙂 Though the real essence of this article is much beyond the capabilities of my top-floor, I guess I do get the feel! 🙂