1. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
   That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
   David Bissonette
2. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
   Sacha Guitry

3. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
   Hemant Joshi
   
4. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates
   
5. Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
   Dumas
   
6. The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
   Sigmund Freud
   
7. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
   Anonymous
   
8. “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
   Henny Youngman
   
9. “I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
   Sam Kinison
   
10. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
    James Holt McGavran
    
11. “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
    Patrick Murray
    
12. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
    1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
    2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
    Nash
    
13. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
    Anonymous
    
14. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
    Henny Youngman
    
15. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    Rodney Dangerfield
    
16. A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
    Milton Berle
    
17. Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
    Anonymous
    
18. A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
    Anonymous
    
19. First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
    Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Which leads me to believe that men are actually very dumb, even after knowing all this, they are the first to jump the wagon! When will you finally learn to stop following us around???!!

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(N.B. The quotes were taken from a popular fun forwarded email, which is too good not to be shared, though i must confess i did change the context of use!)